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Hey there! I'm Holly. A 40+ year old insurance-nerd wife, mom, beauty lover, and about a million other things in between.
This is the place where I share about our lives, what I'm currently loving, books I'm reading, plus-size style, beauty recommendations, health + fitness endeavors and anything else I'm finding interesting at the moment.
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Search Results for: The Week In Workouts
2013: Year In Review
I spent a lot of time reflecting last week about 2013. My initial thoughts were that it had been filled with a lot of struggle. But as I looked through my photos and posts from this year I began to knit together a much more complex picture.
This year has been filled with struggle. But it has also been filled with strength. There have been moments of triumph weaved in and out of the day to day difficulties and I am so happy that I took the time to think back on everything that has happened from a bird’s eye view.
I don’t know if you plan on doing any sort of reflecting before we tick through to 2014, but I would highly recommend it. For me this has been such a learning year and a week ago I was feeling a little bummed because I hadn’t accomplished everything I had set out to do. But after looking back over the last 365 days, I feel prouder than ever (and slightly more exhausted – ha!)
I want to thank you for being a part of this year in my life. I can’t wait to see what happens next.
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We started off strong doing our first Whole 30 of 2013. Some people wonder why we do crazy nutrition challenges like this, but I am telling you, I learn something new every single time. This time around not only did a bunch of you readers and I all do it together — which was awesome because it introduced me to a million new and awesome blog buddies — but I also discovered my favorite no fuss weeknight meal: Crispy Chorizo and Kale. It takes about 15 minutes and tastes DIVINE. Both were worth 30 days of Clean Eats, I swear!
I looked back at my January Favorites from earlier this year and surprisingly I still LOVE them all. Apparently January was a good month!
February, on the other hand, was the month that changed EVERYTHING: I got a new job! And boy did it turn my world upside down.
I had made my goals and plans for the year and had started to aggressively pursue them all, but this professional opportunity had me throwing all those goals up in the air and catching only what I could as they all came crashing to the ground. It’s funny how life likes to throw curve balls just when you think you’ve got something under control. 🙂
I was still hitting the gym, but rather than keeping the forward progress going I was really just keeping myself sane. Turns out this would actually be just perfect for the moment.
March brought the CrossFit Games Open which, as usual, was such a fun experience in the gym. My performance wasn’t stellar, nor was it where I wanted it to be but I had to cut myself some slack because along with Day Job changes, I was also training for a running event. There was A LOT going on and I wasn’t in my best CrossFit shape ever. Looking back, I’m not sure HOW I juggled all of that during that time. Or, more accurately, how I thought it was reasonable that I juggle all of that AND BE SUCCESSFUL. But you know me, I was determined to keep plugging away and to make it fun, DAMMIT. This mostly meant I drank a lot of champagne. As a general rule, champagne always brings the fun no matter what you’re doing. 🙂
Speaking of fun, we added an exciting new addition to our family in March as well! Of course my mother would rather us have added an actual baby to our family, but I like to think that this car brought us one step closer. Some day soon, Mama! Just be patient! 🙂
It was long overdue for us to upgrade our car situation, prior to this purchase our “newest” car was 14 years old, but the big sell on this car (besides the fact that it belonged to a friend who had taken great care of it and needed to off load it in a hurry) was that it was super roomy and friendly for the REAL best new addition to our family in 2013.
Even though we technically got Buster at the end of 2012, this was the first full year we spent as a family of three. Though it hasn’t been all smooth sailing — Buster’s digestive system is more temperamental than a toddler — I have never been more grateful for a random addition to the family! He has opened my heart and my mind this year and made me realize that maybe I do have a little nurturer inside of me. My ability to love and care for him has has made me feel slightly less anxious about potentially moving on to the “Parenting” phase of our lives. I have high hopes that 2014 will be the year we get on that. It’s exciting and scary all at the same time.
April continued with some gym progress and A LOT of running progress — including running my first 10 miler! It was actually a super awful run, but something I needed to do mentally before I finally embarked on the event I had been training all winter/early spring for: The Relay. OMG THE RELAY! We’ll get to that in just a second, trust me, but to wrap up April — it was also the month that I taught my first HOLY SHIT I’M GETTING PAID FOR THIS Paleo Cooking Class.
It was a great experience, but boy that whole “Next Food Network Star” stuff is NO JOKE! With all of the mounting responsibilities I had going on at work I decided not to teach more classes this year, but it is definitely something I will do again. You know I like to get out of my comfort zone every once in a while.
April wasn’t all roses and sunshine though, it was actually the beginning of a little weight creeping back on due to stress. It was panic inducing at first, and it was a major red flag that “Hey Holly, this new job has shaken up your priorities and these are the consequences.” It was a tough pill to swallow for me (and frankly it still is. More on THAT at the beginning of January, for sure) but it was about mid-year when I started to realize that this fitness journey that had been so successful and mostly effortless for me over the last 3 years was changing. Learning how to adapt was clearly going to be my next challenge.
But first — first I had a CRAZY ASS RELAY to run:
I’ve already written so much about The Relay that I won’t get into it too much here, but I think the feeling that sums up that whole experience is: OMG WHAT WERE WE THINKING? And also: MAN I CAN’T BELIEVE I DID THAT. I am still simultaneously proud of and horrified by that entire experience. 🙂
ICYMI:
The Relay, Part One
The Relay, Part Two
The Relay, Part Three
As if The Relay wasn’t enough stress for the month, I was put on a special project at work in May that was going to require A LOT of out of state travel. The downside was that I’m not suuuuuuper into flying. In fact, I have been known hold hands with strangers during particularly bumpy patches. 🙂
But the upside was — the travel required was mostly to Iowa. And guess who lives in Iowa?
AndreAnna totally kept me sane in Iowa this year, and she also kept me in pedicures! True Story: I’m pretty sure the only time I got pedicures this year was with her. And if you want to know the truth, it’s probably time I get back to Iowa. Thank god it’s boot season! 🙂
Speaking of BFFs, in June my California BFF got married! We had such a wonderful time going down to the Central Coast to celebrate and I am seriously already planning our next trip down there.
Garrett + I get a little antsy if we don’t get to hang with Sarah AT LEAST once or twice a year (this is what happens when you live with the same roommate for SIX YEARS) so I think maybe in February or March we’ll have to make that happen.
In July I spent more time on planes, more time in the Midwest (this time Ohio!), and more time trying to get my workout mojo going. Finding balance between work life and workout life was a real theme this year, and I happily added a little yoga into the mix this month in order to balance out all of the stress I was juggling. That was a real gift of 2013, getting back into Bikram, and I am so grateful for it.
I also got back into cleaner eating (we did our second MOSTLY Whole 30) and as such I got a little crazy with the food prepping.
Nutrition is the foundation of my sanity (SERIOUSLY) and it was another thing I struggled with to a big extreme this year. Lots of work travel threw me off and my general exhaustion meant that we did a lot more takeout than usual. Frankly, I am still wondering why Chipotle doesn’t have a frequent buyer card! All year long food was a swinging pendulum for me, and one I would like to get more control over in 2014. I have done enough experimenting that I know exactly what kind of food works best for my body. In 2014 I want to explore the reasons that I use to keep me from sticking to those foods. (Ooooh, psychology! :))
In August I reorganized my Pinterest Recipe Boards which was such a small, silly project but one that represented getting back to having a little “Me Time.” The term “Me Time” makes me gag, but I really struggled this year to find time to read, relax or just dick around on the internet, you know? The Importance of Dicking Around – this will be the title of my first book. ha! But jokes aside, August was the month that I finally prioritized the importance down time.
Part of that was out of necessity, this was the month that my grandma passed away suddenly, and I think that deaths in your family always put the value of time into perspective. August was a month of quiet reflection for me, on this blog and in life. I just wanted to stay close to home and spend time with those I love.
September was another month that was slowly dominated by Day Job related things and of course MORE work travel. (Back to Iowa! And Internet BFFs!) It was kind of a big deal for me though because (as dumb as this sounds) this month was the first time in my life I ever packed for a 5 day trip in ONLY a carry on.
I feel like I have not adequately described on this blog what a chronic overpacker I have been all of my life, so that’s why this is such a noteable and memorable event for me. VICTORY!!!!! 🙂
It was also the month that I impressed my coworkers during a Team Building even where we had to do a Photo Scavenger Hunt. I remember this because it was the month that I realized “Ok, maybe I haven’t lost ALL of my CrossFit skills this year. THERE’S HOPE!” So that was a relief! On our next team building, we’re gonna have it in an awesome escape room like this scary escape room in toronto!
Unfortunately it was also the month of this:
I really think that picture speaks for itself. Oh September, you were definitely a month of laughs! And also the month of our third Whole 30. Three Whole 30s? Wow. I am proud of that. They get easier every time, I tell ya!
In October I turned 35, and WOW did that feel weird. Also: I was back in Iowa. Boy I sure got to know that state this year, didn’t I? Iowa is seriously filled with the BEST people, and I feel lucky that my work travel has taken me there so often. I have new friends there, a fun CrossFit gym that was my home away from home when I was on the road, and every once in a while I think “Hmmm…maybe I could live here.” I’m not dying to get out of California just yet, but you never know…
October was definitely sponsored by caffeine this year, which worked out well since we finally got a Keurig. I say this without an ounce of hyperbole:Â IT WAS TOTALLY LIFE CHANGING! October was also sponsored by Cortisol (eek!) because along with work travel, aging, and general life craziness, Buster had a surgical procedure done that had us holding our breath for one very long day towards the end of the month. He was such a trooper though, and pulled through like a champ. I love that little poochie like my own child and I’m not even ashamed!
November went by in a flash! And I finally had the realization that this was NOT my year for fitness. OOF, that was a hard thing to admit. This was a growing year for me in so many ways (especially in pant size — ha!), but not so much for me in the gym. I’m still mourning that a little, but as I look back over these pictures and think back on everything I’ve accomplished this year I have no regrets. There are many different seasons in life, and this just wasn’t my season for fire breathing. I know there will be another. Maybe it will be 2014? :::crosses fingers::::
This was, however, my season to do a major hair overhaul.
SNIP SNIP: I was clearly feeling the need for change last month because the pace of this year has been insane. Sometimes when I feel out of control in certain areas I like to exercise extreme control in others. This year that manifested itself in CHOPPING OFF MY HAIR. It’s been an adjustment, but one that I am mostly enjoying. Maybe next year I’ll chop it all off? Oooooh, or get some crazy hair extensions. I’ve also been looking into what Hair Perm Treatment entails for a nice change of pace. At this point it’s hard to tell what I’ll be going for next. So who knows? 🙂
December didn’t offer much rest for the weary, but there have been pockets of absolute bliss in there that make me feel excited for what’s to come. This picture of Garrett and I is one of the few pictures we took together this year. I was going through my photos at the last minute trying to see if I could get my act together and make a Christmas card a few weeks ago and I realized we didn’t have much to choose from. While this picture doesn’t make us look like flawless supermodels, what I love about it is that it is so representative of us this entire year (and not just because we are full of wine! ha! Oh this year THERE WAS SOME WINE.)
This year we have grown together in so many ways — both with new jobs, new routines, and new responsibilities. But all the while this year we have made time to check in and prioritize our relationship. It was a great year for us personally, and when I look at that picture I can see it in all of the lines on our faces, the bags under our eyes and ahem, my multiple chins. haha If I have to grow older, I’m so so so supremely glad I get to do it with Garrett.
This many not have been the year of checking things off lists, but it is for sure the year of Superior Effort! I feel 100% confident in saying I gave 2013 everything I had. While my priorities ended in such a different place than they began, I am so happy with how things evolved this year. I did the very best I could with the knowledge that I had and in many ways I’m going into 2014 feeling stronger and more confident than ever.
It’s been a year of change and growth and struggling and learning, and I can’t wait to do it all over again next year!
The Lost Year
I planned to workout at 5am this morning, and when my alarm went off — well, it hurt. But I got up, put on my workout clothes that I set out the night before, made myself a cup of coffee, squeezed in a couple snuggles with the pooch, brushed my teeth and headed out the door. The workout was HARD. I felt slow. I swear I can feel every single stress related pound that I have gained this year and it sucks. (Especially when doing wall balls and box jumps and HEY LOOK AT THAT, both have been programmed in my last two workouts. BOO.)
But when I was done, it felt AMAZING. And it is literally the best decision I’ve made today, and I am so so happy I dragged my ass out of bed. I know it’s cliche to say you never regret a workout, but man — I don’t think I ever have.
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Years ago, when I started blogging about my fitness journey and when I seriously committed to CrossFit — I used to workout in the morning regularly. It is my preference, and it just sort of became a non-negotiable. Getting up and getting it done was just what I did — and I experienced some great results. I can’t remember exactly when I stopped doing that, but I can tell you why. I mean to be honest there are a million reasons — some are flimsy excuses (But it’s so much more fun to workout with Garrett! And he is definitely a night exerciser) but some reasons are legit (when I was CRAZY STRESSED at the beginning of the year with my job, the nicest thing I did for myself was give myself permission to just focus on SLEEEEEP!) But the fact is, the last 6 months have been a roller coaster of commitment when it comes to my fitness. And as you can imagine, that has yielded its own set of results. grumblegrumblegrumble
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I’ve been thinking A LOT about how to right this fitness ship lately. Mentally and Physically.
For the record, I think it is worth mentioning that I am not spending any time beating myself up over it. Life is long, and seasons change, and this has been a big year for me professionally and something had to give. This year it was fitness. I am a firm believer in the idea that we can have it all but we can’t have it all AT ONCE, and honestly, if I could go back and change the way this year has played out, I wouldn’t, so I’m not really coming from the perspective of “Where did I go wrong?” This has been a learning year and I am so 100% happy with the investments that I’ve made in my job and in my life, and the struggles I’ve had this year have honestly taught me so much. And one of those things I see so clearly now is I am SO MUCH HAPPIER in my life when I ensure that fitness plays a major role in my life. So I am coming from a place of prioritizing happines.
I’ve realized this year that my fitness routine goes beyond getting to the gym because I should. It goes beyond wanting to “look good naked.” It even goes beyond what the scale says or how my pants fit or how much weight I’ve lost or gained and how much I have left to lose. For me, the act of having fitness goals, pursuing them, trying hard, doing it with a community, giving and getting support, seeing my friends succeed, experimenting with results, tracking my progress, celebrating that progress — all of those things are things that I truly ENJOY! Things I NEED, even. That hour every day is this little gift that I give myself above and beyond all the stuff that I am REQUIRED to do in life. Sure sometimes it feels hard, or there are things I’d rather be doing — but more often than not it’s my sanity saver. My happy place.
Also I realized last Friday — after a workout that felt especially BRUTAL, mostly because my last two weeks of gym attendance had been spotty — that it is SO. SO. MUCH. EASIER. to just show and up and do this regularly even when it is hard, than it is to find the time and energy to make a “come back.” When I am committed to what I am doing in the gym, it helps me focus better on my commitments OUTSIDE the gym. And without that over the last year I have truly felt a little bit lost. I was missing this essential piece of self-care.
I’ve been rolling it over in my mind comparing what I *was* doing when my workouts were just going off without a hitch and what I’ve been doing. And there were two main observations that kept popping up.
1. I used to be COMMITTED to working out mostly in the mornings.
AND
2. I shared a lot more about my workouts.
The morning workouts are an easy fix. I’m going to set my alarm early a couple days a week and just GET IT DONE. The second one, well – I haven’t quite found that solution yet. Somewhere over the last year I started feeling a little self conscious about talking about workouts. I mean, I’m the first one to roll my eyes about That Guy’s Instagram and Facebook feed with 500 hashtags talking about his squat PR. Enough already! But there is also something so motivating about sharing and connecting with like minded folks who are trying to take care of themselves in that same way that you are. There is a fine line in overshaing and while I’m not sure I always stay on the right side of it, I have to say: blogging, tweeting, instagramming, facebooking about fitness goals and successes have kept me super motivated in the past. It may seem like a cheesy little thing, but I am going to commit to doing a little bit more of that in the coming days too.
I’m determined to get my groove back, friends. And I hope you don’t mind if I talk a little incessantly about it for a minute. 🙂
I don’t know that it will be easy, but I definitely learned this past year that the alternative sure isn’t a cake walk either.
Celery Salad with Dates, Walnuts and Pecorino
This weekend at the gym was the Annual ARCFit Wod-A-Thon which, as you may have seen in year’s past, involves some dressing up in costumes, some workouts and some general hijinks. Afterward comes my favorite part: THE BBQ + POTLUCK, duh. 🙂
I love a good pot luck, and have some go-to favorites I like to bring, but I am adding a new one to the list so I thought I would share it.
The recipe below is adapted from an old Food & Wine recipe and it is just perfect for cool weather gatherings or holidays. The prep time is practically nothing, and it can be made up to a day ahead.
I think you’re going to love it!
Celery Salad with Dates, Walnuts and Pecorino
Prep time:
Cook time:
Total time:
Serves: 6
Ingredients
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- 1 1/4 cups walnuts, toasted at 350 for 8 minutes
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- 1 small shallot, minced
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- 2 tablespoons sherry vinegar
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- 2 tablespoons avocado oil
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- 2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
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- Kosher salt and freshly ground pepper
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- 2 lbs of celery (roughly 1.5-2 bunches), thinly sliced (on the bias if you feel fancy!)
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- 1 cup dried pitted Medjool dates, quartered lengthwise
- 3 ounces pecorino cheese, shaved with a vegetable peeler
Instructions
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- For the dressing: combine the shallot with the sherry vinegar. Whisk in both oils and season with salt and pepper to taste.
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- For the salad: In a large bowl toss the toasted walnuts, celery, dates and pecorino. Add the dressing and toss. Serve at once. Kurma Borong is a place where you can buy all varieties of dates fruit at wholesale prices in Malaysia.
- A note on storage: The salad and dressing can be refrigerated separately for up to 1 day. Store the walnuts in an airtight container and add to the salad just before serving.
Renewal
This weekend it finally happened.
I don’t know if it was because I spent a lot of time outside and got in some great workouts. I don’t know if it was because I cooked good food and hung out with good friends. I don’t know if it is because I made time to read books in a piping hot bubble bath, or because I spent an hour doing a meditative yoga class. I don’t know if it has to do with the weather or the season or the fact that it was just my birthday so the lunar clock is starting all over. Whatever the reason, I am so grateful that this weekend my inspiration and feeling of renewal showed back up with a vengeance and as such I’m feeling the energy to take on some new things.
I’m changing up what I’m eating a little bit.
Well, I shouldn’t say that — I’m eating the same things, I’m just toying with my macronutrient ratios. I love a good food experiment, so I’m diving head first into this one. I’m not actually sure I’ll like it, it will work for me, or I’ll keep doing it so I am going to wait to blog about it, but it has me feeling a little creative in the kitchen.
A Year of Yoga
I bought a year of unlimited yoga classes this weekend as a birthday present to myself. I haven’t been doing much in the last, probably 6 weeks, and I’ve missed it. (And so has my hip flexibility!) There was a special going on at the studio I go to and I thought — WHAT THE HELL? You’re worth it, self! It was a bit of a hefty investment, but class for class it is dirt cheap. Plus something about the convenience of having it paid for and not having to look at my schedule and factor out the most efficient class deal just feels like a relief.
The “Stuff That Makes Me Happy” List
This weekend I sat down and made a very simple list — Stuff that makes me happy. It’s not specific, it includes things like “Learning new things” and “Listening to podcasts” plus “Walking the dog” and “Time to browse pinterest for recipes.” Stupid things, really. But I put it up where I could see it, and I’m going to start using during the zoning hour. Do you have the zoning hour? For me, it’s right after I get dinner on the table. After we eat I’m just so damn happy to be sitting down that I end up watching some crap television for way too long and then lamenting about how I never have time to do the things I want to do. So I thought a few times a week I’d try and pick something off the list each night — something I obviously enjoy doing — and then do that instead. Like an advent calendar of fun crap!
I’m happy to have the energy and drive to get excited about some of this stuff! Hooray fall!
Fun Things To Read On A Friday
Happy Friday!
It’s been a bit of a lazy week around here and I am sorry that I’m not sorry. I thought I would be super productive this week, but I have yet to even do a load of laundry. I did, however, catch up with friends, read, write, take bubble baths as well as doing the major daily tasks that keep our household afloat. I feel a little greedy saying this, but man — I COULD USE ANOTHER WEEK OFF. 🙂 The time to myself has felt very refreshing!
I thought I might spend the week taking long walks but MY FIT BIT BROKE! How rude! So you know, if I’m not getting credit for steps why take them? 🙂 Ok, not really. But that is a serious bummer. Mostly because now I have to deal with returning it and returning things (right up there with making phone calls) is one of my most DREADED tasks!
At least we’re going into a long weekend, right? What do you all have planned? How about we kick it off with some fun (less complain-y) links?
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*Uh, re-reading that last paragraph made me think it might be time to Set Boundaries With My Job. Heh
*Well here are some fun facts: 40 Maps That Will Help You Make Sense of the World
*Need a little fitness inspiration? Here are 10 Ways to Love Your Workouts and Stay Motivated.
*Food I would like to be eating:
Slow Cooker Pollo sin Arroz
Slow Cooked Brisket
Slow Cooked Mustard Short Ribs
Oh, slow cooker season! I am ready for you.
*Audiophiles, check out 25 Audiobook Favorites from Janssen over at Everyday Reading. Not an audiophile? This list is fully of good looking reccomendations and I’m also really intrigued by this book.
*I don’t know why but this silly video makes me so happy every time I watch it. I want to invite Jumpy over to play with Buster!
*Loved this post about the suckitude of the BMI. You all know how I feel about it – I’m definitely in favor of Body Composition Testing! So much more enlightening.
*Consider what the pain might be teaching you. Listen to your hurt, and figure out how it can make you better, instead of bitter. Evidence of a Miss was a good read.
*Sometimes it is hard to tell the “Health Hype” from reality. I really enjoyed this smart post from Diane Sanfilippo on Flax, Chia, Green Smoothies and Juicing.
*Want to feel confident about your kid’s safety when they head out to the sports field this fall? Look no further.
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Hope you all enjoy your weekend! Take care, friends!
Wednesday Bullets
Is it sunny? Is it rainy? The weather last night was having a tough time making a decision.
It’s been another one of those weeks where it’s already Wednesday and I’m like, “Oh, right. I have a blog.” 🙂 If it’s any indication, I spent about 5 minutes on Tuesday morning going at my eyes with eye makeup remover to try and get all the mascara off before I realized that I wasn’t even wearing makeup. WHOOPS — JUST DARK CIRCLES. So all I have in me today is bullets, but I have some very important questions for you — so can we chat?
Ok, here we go:
*Speaking of mascara, I need a makeup intervention. Here’s the deal: I have been wearing Bare Minerals foundation, oh for basically as long as I’ve been alive. Ok, maybe not that long but at least 10 years? And all of a sudden about a year and a half ago I started to feel like my normal color just wasn’t matching my skin. (And for the record, I wear a different color in summer and winter. Don’t worry I’m not a crazy person who gets a tan and then is like “Why doesn’t my foundation look right?”) Anyway — so over the last year I have spent a small fortune trying to find The Right Color — even going in multiple times and having the Very Makeup-y Sales People put makeup on me — and it appears that The Right Color just doesn’t exist anymore. “Just blend two colors” the sales girls always say, as if I have time, money or desire to be my own beauty apothecary. I DO NOT! But I very much enjoy the texture and coverage of mineral makeup and have zero desire to go back to the god awful Mac Studio Fix shit I used years ago, and liquid foundation just ain’t my bag. HAAAAAAAAAAAAAALP! What do I do? What do you do? Or have liquid/Stuido Fix options improved in the last 10 years. What do you use on your face? Ready, go!
*Part of the reason I woke up with bags under my eyes on Tuesday was because we had our Book Club meeting on Monday night and OHMYGOD IT WAS SO FUN! First, it involved discussing our chosen book, Julia Child’s My Life In France — and you guys, I just loooooooooooooooooooved that book! It was about two things I had really only mildly been interested in up until that point: Julia Child and France, uh obviously. 🙂 But it was so delightfully charming, she was so inspiring to read about, the entire book made me hungry and want to drink bottles and bottles of wine, and I was ready to get on the first plane to Paris. (So yeah, HIGHLY RECOMMEND, anyway.) But what was so fun was our fabulous themed dinner — Pate, Brie, French 75s, Beef Bourguignon, Green Salads and the most delectable little Orange Cardamom Madelines. And if you think we ignored the wine, well you thought wrong. So yeah, Tuesday morning? A bit rough. But totally worth it!
*So I finally got my Fit Bit One and it’s pretty rad. I hear if you have one we can like…be friends. HOW DOES ONE DO THAT? What do we, uh…do when we are friends? Do we like high five and look at each other’s steps. Tell me more about this! 🙂 I wore mine yesterday and had what felt like a completely sedentary day (I didn’t take a walk at work, etc) and still managed to get in about 7000 steps. I felt like that was pretty eye opening. Unfortunately I didn’t set it correctly when I slept last night because it didn’t track any data which made me sad. My two big reasons for wanting one was to track the restfulness of my sleep as well as to motivate me to get up and move around more at work. I CAN’T WAIT FOR GRAPHS AND CHARTS YOU GUYS!!! (And friends, maybe? I don’t know. Still need help with that. Here is my profile — does that help? It’s a bit, uh, sparse.)
*The only problem with walking today is that my legs no longer work after 3 crazy CrossFit workouts this wee. OUCH! 🙂
*These zebra-ish pants from Old Navy are basically my favorite things ever right now and if you have Quadzilla Pride, I think you should own them. They are highly flattering in a way that most “Printed Pants On Ladies With Large Thighs” are not. So, take that for what it’s worth. 🙂
*I loved this Huffington Post piece about 3 Reasons to Get Upset About CrossFit. I know I could have saved it for Friday links, but it’s Hump Day and I think we could all use a little more awesome in our lives to get us through the week, right?
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Ok, that’s all I got peeps. What’s new in your neck of the woods. Tell me a good story, would ya? I am tiiiiiiiiiiiiired. I got up early to squeeze in my workout this morning so that tonight my only responsibilities would be to catch up on bad reality television. WIN!!!
Fitness Journeys and Destinations
Last year I was very diligent about tracking my progress on monthly goals. It fed my brain to think about all the things that I had accomplished the previous month and gave me great pleasure to carve out a (mostly) manageable list of things I wanted to accomplish that following month. For the most part, I loved the entire process. I don’t know if it was amazing blog fodder, but since I do use this space for personal reflection I kept it up all year long.
At the beginning of this year I purposefully decided to stop doing that. The part of my brain that enjoyed that itch being scratched was a little bit afraid about quitting that regular check in. How would I get anything done? But I had come to realize, at the end of last year, that the process had become less brain scratching, and more ego feeding. It wasn’t that I was puffing myself up with accomplishments and patting myself on the back, but rather the act of making plans and then checking things off lists all month was a crutch that I used to help me feel in control. And my ego reeeeeeeeeeeeeeally wanted to be in control. If I had a list and I used it, all would be ok.
The problem was that despite the process being the same, the results were mixed. Sometimes my brilliant little plans worked and I felt that all was right in the world. Other times I would put forth the same amount of planning and effort and things wouldn’t come to fruition. Over time it would wear on me — the Trying Hard but Not Achieving. If I wanted to wrap this up in a neat little bow, I’d say that focused too much on the destination and not enough of the journey. I decided this year that I wanted to focus on being flexible and being less attached to “My Plans.” I figured I’d ease into that shift, but practically the second I made the decision, The Universe showed up with this new professional opportunity that seemed to be The Flexibility Fast Lane. How’s that for manifesting? 🙂
I’ve been struggling with this situation for months, but now that I can see it through the lens of — Hey, I asked for this — I actually feel a little bit grateful that my hand was forced, or I may still be “easing in.” One of the major shifts for me — me, being a proudly obsessive list-maker (the “proud” part should have been the first tip off that this was an ego-feeding situation, ha!) — has been to stop setting specific goals. OMG THE HORROR! This goes against every piece of goal advice you’ll ever here, but I’ve found it more conducive to flexibility to just focus on an idea or theme. I’m looking at the root of a situation that I want to change, instead of trying to micromanage all of the outcomes.
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For example I used to set a goal to workout a certain number of days per week. If I set it for 5 and only worked out 4, it was very easy for me to feel like I had missed the mark instead of just saying “Rock and Roll — 4 days was all you could give this week.” So I tried something a bit different in July:
I started the month with a blank calendar and the intention to switch up my fitness routine. I didn’t want to give myself a numeric goal, I wanted to workout because it would help me feel better, which I though called for different fitness options on different days. My hypothesis was that if I focused on a few varied options, instead of just trying to get into the CrossFit box on an arbitrary number of days, I would have more overall success and enjoyment.
Because I do still like to track data (I just don’t want to have preconceived notions of what that data should look like) I started to write down each day what I did for physical activity — and I purposely gave “Rest” it’s own label and color because I wanted to look at rest as a choice and not as “being lazy.” I also I added a weekly tracking roundup on the blog because I wanted to be conscious of what I was getting out of each workout. I knew if I had to itemize it in writing later, it would help me be more “In the Moment” while I was doing it, rather than just checking off a line item.
So far it has worked swimmingly, and last night when I counted everything up I realized that I had worked out a ton:
*CrossFit: 9 Days
*Spin/Miscellaneous: 4 Days
*Yoga: 8 Days
*Rest: 7 Days
And all of that included 4 days on the road, which I didn’t really count at all since it was so willy nilly.
If I wanted to puff my chest out about accomplishments, it would be warranted! This is a good looking month! But what I feel more excited about was that these results came specifically from focusing on the journey portion or fitness, rather than the preconceived destinations. And I feel really excited about that! I think that I am a data oriented person, so I do enjoy being able to quantify — but there is a difference between understanding the overall vibe of what you eat and counting calories, right? And this, for me, has been my way of giving the finger to that calorie counting type ideology that I seemed to have let overtake many areas of my life. And I’m surprised to say that letting go and being a bit more flexible actually feels really good.
Baby Steps?
Opening Up
When I started CrossFit 3 years ago I did it mostly because I was bored. Bored, you ask? Yep. Bored with my fitness routine. Bored at my job. Bored (ok and maybe a little fed up) with being out of shape and overweight despite all the work that I put into changing that. I was in a rut, and I was open to try something different.
Almost immediately just the act of getting into that gym inspired me. For a long time it also scared me, but in a good way, you know? The intensity of the work outs lit a fire in my life that burned WAAAAAY more than my quads after a Body Pump class at Ye Olde 24 Hour Fitness and seeing the changes (big and small) in my body as well as my mind kept me motivated.
As my skills grew sharper, my commitment grew more intense. The best part of this whole thing was that my happiness and accomplishments inside the gym started to run over into my outside life. It was as if the Universe opened up the flood gates of success! I was trying new things that I never had the confidence to try before: I ran my first half marathon, I participated in a spur of the moment 10 miler, I spent a weekend running 20 miles while living out of a van with 7 other people. These were things that I never would have written in the Things I Am Capable Of column prior to Crossfit. And here they were written in indelible ink. Accomplishments that no one could take away from me.
Also notable: somewhere amidst all of that I shed 100 lbs. I say that as an afterthought because honestly, sometimes it felt like it was. I had spent 30 years WORKING HARD (and I mean reeeeeeeeeeally working) at losing weight. And now all of a sudden I tweaked my diet just a bit and showed up at this gym to hang out with cool people who were a great time and did workouts that were fun, where people would cheer me on and encourage me — and with seemingly little effort (aside from showing up and trying hard of course) those hundred pounds dropped off me like a bad habit in the first year and a half.
A year ago when my weight loss hit a bit of a stand still, I was concerned. But I certainly wasn’t obsessed because there were weights to life and races to run and experiences to be had and friends to hang out with and dogs to adopt and let’s be honest: life is about a million other things besides what your scale says — FULL STOP. I believe wholeheartedly in the idea that this website is built on: health is where good food and a good life intersect. And I knew if I pursued a good life, the health results would come. I continued to do what I had been doing, live my life, and of course pursue other avenues of achievement because, well…that’s who I am. I make no apologies that I am a person who sets goals and makes lists and charts paths and checks in and measures progress. I like to tinker with actions/results. While it is sometimes a frustrating process, I am open to change.
In November of last year, while all of that was going on, I had a professional opportunity fall into my lap. It was not something that was part of my long term plan, honestly, and at first I was a little gun shy about it. (I thought about the psychology of that reaction this weekend while reading Lean In, by the way and WOW could that be a whole post in itself.) It took a lot of thinking for me to take the plunge with this job and there were MANY speed bumps. It took quite a few conversations, personal and professional and in the end it took one part convincing and another part stars aligning and as you all know, in February I was in the new role. It was another bullet point that I would not have necessarily written on that list of Things I Am Capable Of but one I was open to. Let’s see where this goes, eh?
I was quickly reminded that growth always has a cost associated with it, right? We see this in our everyday training. The only way to gain muscle is to breakdown the tissue you already have and let it repair itself into something better and stronger, and obviously more capable. This experience was no different. All of the November to February hand-wringing and hemming and hawing and ultimately diving in wholeheartedly felt just like that muscle breakdown and repair cycle. It felt like I was sprinted my heart out and when I got to the finish line, I did so gasping for breath.
When I reached that finish line, I realized that this sprint had only led me to a the starting line of a marathon and that marathon has been something I have been telling the story of for the last six months. Just like an actual race, it has been very, very rewarding at times. The challenge has been mostly enlightening, and of course the monetary benefits are actively helping Garrett and I move towards some of the bigger picture line items on our Life To Do List (You know, Weddings, Babies, Homes, Cars — all of that stuff that AIN’T FREE. :)) But in almost equal measure, it has introduced plenty of moments where I have had to talk myself through doubt just to take one more step. And then another. I have wondered how many more steps so many times. Finding my rhythm has been a constant, and at times downright difficult, task. It has taken its mental toll.
What I didn’t really anticipate — though it seems so obvious to me now in hindsight — is that it has also taken a physical toll. The intensity of my Real Life has amped up a whole helluva lot and especially between the hours of 9 and 5. When I get to my 6pm workouts these days, my mind and body have so much less to give than they did just a couple short years ago. The past 6 months for me have felt like a cascade of poor sleep (I’m back to wearing my super sexy night guard to keep me from grinding my teeth. HAWT!), weight gain (in particular, an increase in body fat all around my mid secion. HAWT!), muscle tension, and less than ideal digestion. (Please, never EVER eat dried cherries after eating brussels sprouts. That is a gift from me to you.) For some time I have been a walking, talking poster child for stress, sugar cravings, and hormonal imbalance.
I have been as proactive as possible about prioritizing sleep when I can, eating fairly cleanly, trying hard but failing miserably at my burgeoning meditation practice, and supporting myself physically with some very specific supplementation. But for the longest time I have completely avoided examining my exercise routine. I’m sure you read the same things that I read and listen to the same podcasts — whether I love doing it or not, it is a fact that high intensity exercise (just like most exercise, actually) causes a cortisol response. And all of that is generally fine until YOUR LIFE starts causing a cortisol response. And I have buried my head to that over the last few months.
But I think it’s an important thing to explore, and more importantly I think it is worth discussing in the context of a blog like this. You have been with me through a lot of my successes over the past few years, and I want to be just as open with you about my opportunities. I have begun the process of actively reevaluating where I need to go with MY fitness. I’m thinking about what my goals are in my life long term (uh…don’t die, lose some body fat, protect fertility, etc) but also what my goals are right now (calm the fuck down and stop being a cortisol factory.) And somewhere between those two things I’m trying to find a fitness routine that will help me strike that balance. I never EVER want to give up CrossFit — sorry, I’m not sorry — it is my first love. But I think my goal of showing up no matter what the workout is and going 100% effort may need some adjusting.
I came across this old Chris Kresser article the other day called Why You May Need To Exercise Less and it really helped me put things into perspective. Maybe I can figure out something specific for ME, at THIS time in MY life. I am still going to keep my CrossFit workouts around at least three times per week (though I plan to be judicious with my metcons) but I am also going incorporate some yoga, some long walks, and a little bit more “Working In” into my Work Out Schedule. I am a little nervous about the change, and to be honest I have no idea where this path is going to take me. But I am hoping as long as I am open, I’ll find my way.
Wednesday Bullets
*Well it’s the day before a long holiday weekend, so I’m sure everyone is super busy at work, right? RIGHT 🙂 In that case, let’s talk in bullets my friends.
*I am looking at four days off in a row and I can’t even tell you how excited that makes me. I’m going to do some BBQing, see some friends, workout, relax, and work on a few blog projects that I will finally have some time to do. I really can’t wait! What are you up to? What are you cooking? What are your plans? DO TELL!
*The last 5 days have been pretty extreme around here with respect to weather. My poor air conditioner is on overdrive and by the time I get home each day my energy is completely zapped! Thank god for AM workouts or I would be doing nothing right now but sitting on my Victorian fainting couch fanning myself and sighing. Monday I was too tired to eat dinner (plus food sounds gross when it’s so hot out) and then last night it cooled off a tiny bit so I was productive for about 90 minutes, ate a salad, and then I went to bed at 8! CRAZY. I’m so ready for this “cold front” to come in and for it to only be in the mid 90s. haha
*Dude, even Buster is exhausted from the heat.
*On Monday I went to Target because I ran out of shower gel and came home with patio furniture. Target has some SPOOKY VOODOO going on.
*Oh, hey, how about something random? So Eddie, the resident video-master at our gym, put together and awesome video of the ARCFit Partner Competition that Garrett and I competed in the other weekend and the Anniversary Party afterward. Such a good time! And has a good eye and the video turned out great if you want to check it out. Love my gym!
ARCFit 5th Anniversary from American River CrossFit on Vimeo.
*That’s about all folks. Seriously, it’s been all about staying cool and making it to the weekend for me. Why don’t YOU tell ME a good story! Ready, Go!
A Nice Reminder
So hey, remember that Partner Competition at our gym that I was bitching about on Friday? The one that Garrett signed us up for?
Dude, you guys, WE WON OUR DIVISION. I mean, what? Who the hell was judging and how did THAT happen?
We competed in the scaled division (I STILL CAN’T DO PULL UPS AND GOD DAMN IT, IT HOLDS ME BACK EVERY TIME) but we had fun working together as a team, coming up with a strategy that embraced our strengths, supporting one another, and I really can’t believe we ended up winning. I was secretly hoping that we would come in 3rd, because all the teams had to compete in 3 workouts, but only the top 2 teams in Rx and Scaled competed in one final head to head workout for all the marbles. So, you know, call me lazy but a 3rd place would have suited me juuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuust just fine! 🙂
The energy at the gym was super fun, as usual, and it was great to see so many people I like putting it all out there. I don’t have any desire to be a real competitor, but it’s definitely nice to do stuff like this in a safe environment every once in a while because you really do push yourself a little harder. Both Garrett and I PR’d our squat clean 1 Rep Maxes, and I really think we just didn’t want to let each other down, so we just did the best we could.
I’ve been pretty down on myself, fitness-wise, as of late because I haven’t been working out as often as I’d like, or by the time I get to the gym at the end of a long work day I’m zonked. I’ve had a lot of ups and downs over the last 3 years and these days my performance hasn’t been particularly newsworthy. But this weekend reminded me of how good it feels to have fitness goals and how fun it is when you reach them. I don’t know what that means for the rest of the summer, but I feel like both Garrett were reminded again this weekend about why we like our gym so much. And the fact that we all got to hang out and celebrate at the annual anniverary party BBQ afterward was just icing on the cake!
