Monday Musings: First World Problems Edition

I’m feeling annoyed today, and because it is Monday that is increasing it ten-fold.  Therefore, I must vent:

Complaint #1:  Bank of America Sucks Donkey Balls
I have done my banking there since 1996, and have pretty much hated them since the inception of our relationship for one reason or another, though I’m not sure there is a banking establishment out there that I would truly love.  It just kind of is what it is, and I stay because it is a pain to move everything.  HOWEVER, I recently received a random envelope in the mail from them saying “Hey, here’s a new debit card because your info was potentially compromised.  Totally our bad, sorry about that.”  And there were three main things that really irked me about the situation:  1)  WTF?  Potentially compromised?  The nonchalance of the letter was irritating.  2)  The card had a new number (obvs) but I had my old one memorized — which proved very convenient when making online purchases at new retailers — no need to dig through my wallet!  and 3)  Do you know how many things I have automatically debit out of my account?  About a million — netflix, the gym, student loan payments…yada, yada, yada…you get it.  But let’s just say in the last 3 weeks I have gotten a lot of “Something is wrong with your credit card” emails and phone calls (including a “Collections” call from 24 Hour Fitness complete with a rude ass girl on the other line demanding payment) and I would really like to just punch Bank of America in the stomach each time I have to deal with it.  

Complaint # 2:  Yahoo! You Are Dead to Me
So about a week ago I tried to sign into my Yahoo! account and got an irritating error message.  I sent the appropriate complaint and received a canned response of “We’re working on it!”  And then I waited.  And sent another complaint.  And got another canned response. And waited.  And got an email with a ticket #.  And waited.  I don’t know what the hell they are working on but after more than a week I still can not check my mother-loving email.  And for someone who checks their email probably 30 times a day this is…oh, how do you say…UNFUCKINGACCEPTABLE!  Everything comes to that email address.  EVERYTHING.  Obviously I am going to have to move on to another address (especially after googling this problem and reading about people who have been dealing with it for over a year…um, no) but again, now I have to figure out by trial and error exactly what I need to update.  Also, it means until Yahoo! fixes the problem everything stored in that account (aka future travel itineraries, groupons, contacts, etc) are gone.  GONE.  Ugh, the thought of it all kind of makes me ill.  I think Yahoo! and Bank of America may be in cahoots.

Complaint #3:  I miss the skin on my hands and knees
So Garrett and I joined a CrossFit Gym about a month ago (the nasty call from the 24 Hour Fitness Rep ended up being the perfect time to cancel our old gym membership…HA! Take that, bitchy chick.) and really I have loved every minute since, you know aside from the blisters on my hands and the rug burn (Yes, I injured myself doing modified push ups.  Awesome).  The first month you spend 3 days per week learning technique and most of the lifts and then do an abbreviated workout.  Abbreviated.  Yet I have pretty much been sore everyday since we joined.  So last Friday we finished our course and now I guess we get to join the rest of the folks and do the real workouts, and honestly I feel a little freaked out about it.  Sometimes I find the warm ups a challenge (embarrassing as that is to admit) so the thought of an entire 40-60 minute workout is freaking me out a bit.  I just went online and looked at our WOD for tonight and HOLY SHIT.  Now I have 10 hours to try and figure out how the hell one modifies a handstand push up.  OHMYGOD.

I think I will leave it at my top 3 complaints because, really, that is probably enough.  I don’t want to get on a roll or I will never shut up and I don’t need to start this day with a downward spiral in attitude.  

What’s bugging you this Monday?  You know you want to vent.

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Monday Musings on a Tuesday

*For the record, I can not get enough of 3 day weekends.  It is so nice to go back to work feeling refreshed rather than my usual chorus on a Monday, which is:  “WHY NOT JUST ONE MORE DAY???”

*I have started reading these books by Kathy Reichs.  You all are probably smart and already know all about her, but I am perpetually late to the party and just found out about her.  She writes series books about a Forensic Anthropologist and her books are the basis for the TV Series Bones.  Did you know this?  I totally didn’t know that show was based on books!  I’m DVRing it now, even though I need another show to DVR like I need a hole in the head.  The thing is I love series books, and my secret fantasy is that someday I will do something glamorous like analyze dead bodies and stuff.  I know, you all think I’m morbid and weird now, but I promise I’m not.  I’m just fascinated by Forensics in general, so these books are a fun brain candy gem of a find.  Do you know how I found them?  Amazon sent me another dumb email recommending her.  It sort of freaks me out how Amazon knows me so well.  But the day I got that email I also hear an interview with her on NPR, so the coincidence sealed the deal and I hit up the library.  And I’m so happy I did.  Do you have any good series books to recommend of the mystery/thriller/sciencey  genre?  Do Tell. 

*So every since my naturopath recommended I do some carb-cutting and find some freaking balance, Garrett and I have pretty much switched up to a completely Paleo/Primal diet.  Oh you guys, I feel so douchey every time I say that because really, who needs to qualify their food choices with a catchy name, right?  But HOLY SHIT IT WORKS.  I’ve lost almost 20 pounds, which is nice, but more importantly I feel amazing.  And I’m not eating anything weird, counting calories or points, or flagellating myself for wanting to eat real food.  In fact I enjoyed the most bad ass grass-fed burger with smoked Gouda this weekend and woke up this morning and had lost weight.  Score!  It’s basically a diet that includes lots of veggies, meat, fish, fruit, nuts, and seeds.  The only things I’ve really eliminated are sugar and anything with grains.  And let me tell you I miss that stuff about as much as I miss the 20lbs I’ve lost.  It’s been awesome. 

*Totally Random:  Can we discuss Harem Pants?  Does anyone besides Gwen Stefani wear them?  Why do people want to walk around wearing something that makes them look like they’ve dropped a giant load in their pants.  I can not wrap my brain around this.  They even sell them at the GAP.  Don’t even get me started on what the hell has happened to the GAP.  I think I might be getting old. 

*Speaking of getting old (Just Kidding!) today is my cousin Kelly’s birthday and this is a very exciting birthday indeed.  Not only is she turning 23 (+10), hat tip to Kristie for that one, but also she is about 3 days shy of her due date.  As in, she is about to have the cutest baby girl on the planet (I’m sure of it!) and honestly, I really can’t wait.  Kelly is pretty much my best friend in the whole wide world, and as an only child she is the closest thing I have to a sister.  And after all of our years of debauchery and stupidity and silliness (and that’s just the good times) she is about to become a Mom!  And you guys I CAN HARDLY FREAKING WAIT!  I’m pretty much counting the minutes to snuggly new baby smell and I’m excited. 

So that’s what’s new around these parts — What kind of trouble did you all get into this weekend?

Monday Musings

*I got up this morning and tried on a pair of jeans that used to be snug.  They fit!  And their pockets contained money, coffee coupons, and lip gloss.  HELLO, Best! Monday! Ever!

*I’m reading like a maniac right now and pretty much want to kiss my library on the mouth.  Granted, Elizabeth is laughing at my when I say that I’m sure, but for me — Maniacal Reading!   Have you read anything life changing lately?  What’s on your list to-read?  I must continue to obsessively add to my HOLD list at the library — help a girl out! 

*While my reading is getting better, my writing is actually getting worse.  Lately I feel like my writing has gotten super lazy.  I actually felt embarrassed reading this article because it made me feel like a walking “DON’T” straight out of the pages of Glamour magazine…but you know, for writers.   I need to fix that.  Maybe a book?  Or writing workshop?  Any advice/ideas are welcome.  What do you do to get out of a writing rut?  I need to do something about it. 

*Um, this post is not it.   :) 

*Speaking of Glamour, I hate that magazine and it still comes to my house every month as a sad publisher replacement for my Domino subscription and I HATE HATE HATE IT AND WHEN WILL IT END??? It immediately goes into the recycling bin every time I get it.   

*I have spent the last two weeks not eating sugar, flour, wheat, dairy and at the risk of sounding cliche (here come those lazy writing skills again) it has TOTALLY CHANGED MY LIFE.  And also, I lost 12 pounds!  Unintentionally.  I didn’t give up all those things for weight loss, that was just a happy side effect.   I can’t even wrap my brain around all of it so I’m going to put it down on paper over at Bodies in Motivation this week.  In case you missed my most recent post (that is totally not about the last 2 crazy weeks) head over and check it out and answer my question, would ya?

*I went back to the gym this weekend after a pretty long hiatus (I’ve been struggling with some Plantar Fasciitis pain in my left foot and taking it easy) and sweet baby jesus my whole body is so sore it is ridiculous.  I hate this feeling.  Wearing a bra hurts.  Not putting on the bra, though that hurts too, but actually wearing it, doing nothing, just sitting — HURTS.  It hurts to sit, it hurts to stand, it hurts to go from sitting to standing and I’m pretty sure everyone around me is sick of the 48 chorus I’ve been repeating of “OHMYGOD – ow!”  It’s a pretty pathetic sight, actually.  I’m thinking maybe this will force me back into Hot Yoga for some serious streeeeeetching.  A new studio opened up right by my house and I kind of want to check it out.  We’ll see….

What’s new with you, peeps?

Monday Musings

*Man is it Monday. I mean, obvs right? This isn’t Tuesday Musings. But let me underscore how much of a Monday it has already been. Since we are still in possession of only one car I had to drop Garrett off at work at 6:30 this morning. That would only be illegal if he didn’t work at Peet’s Coffee & Tea, but since he does and I can get free coffee when I go in there, I’m ok with getting ready for work 3 hours before I actually have to be there. Over the last week of doing this, however, I have developed a nice routine of grabbing my iced coffee and a table inside and then reading and people watching for a good hour before I have to go to work myself. It’s so relaxing in the end, well except for today when, like the klutz I am,  knocked over my entirely full 24 oz Iced Coffee, splattered it everywhere (including on myself and the poor gentleman next to me who was thankfully VERY laid back about it), and then in the midst of trying to clean it up dropped and cracked my cell phone in the puddle of said coffee. (It lived.)  Hello, Monday. It’s nice to see you again.


*So this morning I did a little housecleaning on Twitter. I’ve been avoiding Twitter like the plague recently, even though I love it, but it seemed like every time I would log on there would just be So! Much! Information! And information from people I either didn’t know or didn’t care that much about. Some of these people I’m not even sure how or why I started following them. So I did a little deleting and now I feel so much better — it was like a cyber-deep breath!  Updates from the people I want updates from, no more chatter that is going to stress me out – it was a no brainer really and I should have done this months ago. I mean, sure I’ll miss Snooki and The Situation’s misspelled yet informative updates, but I’m confident that the amount of time I spend reading People.com will be more than enough to keep me up to speed on world happenings.


*I got a taste of summer on Saturday night and I really liked it. It was officially the perfect summer night. Garrett and I went to see our friend Katie’s  show at Harlow’s and it was incredibly beautiful out. Downtown was hot but not too hot (so rare here in Sac), brimming with energy and music since it was Second Saturday, and all of J street smelled like lilacs (or um…what I think lilacs smell like – let’s be real, I’m no horticulturist). It was nice to have a bunch of our favorite people in the same place at the same time, the cocktails were strong (Gin & Tonic, FTW!), Katie’s show was great, the weather was perfect and we ended the evening with some deliciously cheap late night pizza and then home to bed before midnight. I know that makes me sound old, but really, it was perfect! It made me want to think of a list of things I want to do this summer just like I did last year.
 *I don’t know about you but he TV at our house was pretty much on 24-7 this weekend playing one of the following:

  • World Cup
  • 24 Hours of Le Mans
  • Formula 1

Let’s just say I got a lot of reading done. :)


*I know this is old news, but really, could there be a more annoying reality show that Heidi Montag and Jen Bunney? I may have to draw the line there, which is saying a lot really seeing as I excitedly set my DVR yesterday to record the 2nd Season of Kourtney and Khloe take Miami.


Did you have a nice weekend? Do you have anything exciting planned for this week?



Monday Musings

So last week? Pile of Suck. With a CAPITAL P.  Let’s just erase it, shall we?

It was so bad, I’m not even going to blog about it, but I’m just going to bury it until my next kickboxing class and then release the rage via round house kicks. You just wait – you will wish you were privy to my ninja skills inside the four walls of 24 hour fitness.


But this weekend? Ultimate Antidote.  And yeah, with a Capital U and an A and all that.  

There were so many things brought a smile to my face, I don’t even know where to start. Here, let me and my mediocre photography skills show you:


Neon Tomato Cages


So let me tell you all the fun things I know about gardening. Um…huh…yeah…so…well, the list isn’t too long now that I think about it. But I successfully grew some stuff last year, so I’m moving forward with the same philosophy — which includes: plant some stuff, water it, and tell the plants they are pretty. The power of positive thinking people – don’t laugh, it worked last year when I grew an 18 inch yellow squash. I’m pretty sure we are done with the frost, so I have planted the bulk of my veggies and herbs and cute little baby seedlings, so we’ll see how it goes this year. But even if it all goes to hell – how cute are those tomato cages? Hot Pink! Bright Green! It’s so reminiscent of my favorite outfit in the first grade – the one when I looked EXACTLY like Cyndi Lauper, I was just sure of it! You know, except it’s for the garden. C’mon tell her she’s pretty.

Garrett’s Idea of Picking Up Some Fruit

If you send a boy to the grocery store, you have to know it’s kind of a crap shoot.  At least that’s the way it is in my house.  He always ends up coming home with like 10 bags of chips, 3 flavors of ice cream, bunches of steaks (but they were on sale! he says).  So this weekend, he came home with fruit!  Um, of the beer variety?  I don’t know.  I enjoyed it though.  


Coconut Cupcakes

I went on a little baking bonanza this weekend which is fine, except only two people live at our house. Coconut cupcakes were the final product and OH MAH GAH, you all. They are where it’s at! Although 18 cupcakes is a lot for 2 people. Well at least when you use as much butter as I was forced to do on Sunday. (Don’t ask, you don’t want to know). But they are damn good, and as such, my coworkers reaped the benefit this morning. It’s so nice to take one for the team.

New Appliances

Meet our new Garage Fridge.  We’ve had a mini “Man Fridge” in our garage for a while but had still been lusting for an extra freezer, so when a friend was off-loading her full size fridge/freezer for a steal, we jumped at the chance and set it up this weekend.  Why does this make me feel like such an adult?  Or like I could host a Barefoot Contessa style party with all of my food pre-made sitting on fabulous white trays in my fridge just waiting for my filthy rich guests to show up with white wine!  Seriously, something about an entire extra appliance just for luxury feels a little bit sickening, but also, it’s really is going to help me out immensely.  Our house fridge is so old (and also a side by side, which: um, HATE. HATE. HATE) and frankly it is mostly just a testament to inefficient space usage.  A mixing bowl takes up an ENTIRE SHELF.  If we ever entertain, I basically have to do it on nights when we have no groceries in the fridge because they take up all the usable space.  And our freezer?  Don’t even get me started.  Finding things in there is like spelunking in a cave on Mount Everest.  And um, no thank you!  This shiny little gem out in the garage is like a dream come true!  (Can somebody tell me when I turned into an old person?)


My Bathtub

This weekend was sunny – but still a bit chilly. This means I spent a serious amount of time in my bubble filled bathtub this weekend and it was much needed. The best part of my bathtub is that even though it isn’t a circle tub with jets – it’s extra long and extra deep (if there is a way to explain that without it attracting the porno crowd to my site, I would love to know) – but anyway, this means that even though I am 5’10 I can still chill out and relax and soak all my troubles away. And frankly, that’s just what I did until my toes got pruney, with the help of some brain candy.


Brain Candy

Yes, I did mountains of Sudoku and poured through this book like it was going out of style in the bath. I was starting to wonder how I could configure that bathtub as an office space when Sunday night rolled around. I mean, I could totally juggle my laptop in there, I promise! But alas, my job said No Dice to my bathtub office idea. 

I guess today (Monday, ARGH)  I’m just trying to take my happiness where I can get it.  In the bits of sunshine that are outside, in the fact that Spring has almost sprung and that means more beautiful days and big adventures.  More time at the grill (yes!) and more time outside.  Patio dates with good friends.  Bring it on, I say!

What are you looking forward to this Spring? 

Monday Musings

*image via

  • I mentioned this on Facebook this weekend, but if we are not friends I think it bares (bears?) repeating.  Is there anything worse than spending 90 minutes of your Saturday going up and down every aisle of Costco playing bumper cars (on the last day of the coupon, by the way and damn if people don’t come out in droves to get $1.50 off of all 800 of those rolls of toilet paper)  only to pilgrimage all the way out to your car parked in Siberia for a fierce game of Trunk Tetris?  Man I hate that.  As someone who always tried to force the square peg in the round hole, that shit makes me tired!  If there is something worse than this can you please tell me, so that I can think of it the next time I’m swearing at my car like a lunatic while people pass by asking me how long I’m going to be so they can decide if they want to play parking lot shark on my spot or roll the dice on a better spot.  Thanks.
  • Have you looked at the March Issue of Cooking Light?  There are like 900 recipes that I want to make, immediately.  Actually I made one last night (with a few switch-a-rooskies) and I may have to post about it this week…it was THAT GOOD. There was also a fabulous article in it (oooh and look, it’s online too!) about The 25 Most Common Cooking Mistakes that I thought it was super informative.  Nothing extreme, just a really good reminder of basics, but I definitely picked up a few tips.  Anyway, while I’m playing link-master, check out their Recipe Index for March.  It’s a total Jackpot!
  • I finally finished 500 Days of Summer and it ended up being ok.  I didn’t love it, but there were definitely some cute parts.  I’m convinced that anyone who didn’t crack a smile during the entire Hall & Oats musical section has a cold black heart.  I fracking LOVE Hall & Oats!  Don’t judge me.  I was also pleasantly surprised to find that Joseph Gordon Levitt, who I had previously put in my Famous-People-With Irritating-Squinty-Faces category (see also:  Renee Zellweger and Josh Hartnett), has seemed to grow out of that.  He was a pretty adorable regular-guy leading man.  Granted the last time he even registered on my radar was in like 2001 when I was living in LA and got free tickets to see an episode of Third Rock From the Sun be filmed, so he probably deserved a break — I’m pretty sure that was probably his most awkward adolescent phase, and come on, that is a phase by which no one should be judged.
  • Speaking of awkward adolescent phases, I’ve been scanning a bunch of old pics lately and getting a real good laugh.  I may have to post a few here if you promise not to be too brutal. 

Did you have a nice weekend?

Monday Morning Musings

  • So last night as I was devouring a bag of a Chocolate Chex – which by the way is the only type of store bought Chex Mix I will eat, the rest of them all taste like a bad knock off – and I was reading the back of the bag (I also enjoy the backs of cereal boxes, I’m not really a picky reader, clearly) and became sort of befuddled reading the advertising claim on the back. “Chocolate Chex – 50% less fat than potato chips!” Which just seemed kind of weird to me because, I don’t know about you, but when I am eating Chocolate Chex? It is not because I am craving something salty, you know? The two do not scratch the same itch, right? To me it just seemed as arbitrary as saying Brussels Sprouts — 50% less fat than Chocolate Chex! I wanted to say to the Chex Marketing People, Yeah…and your point?  But instead I just kept chewing
  • On Saturday we had my cousin and her husband over for dinner and I used them as guinea pigs (aren’t I sweet?) so I could officially test Pioneer Woman’s Perfect Potatoes Au Gratin, and can I tell you? I am not sure those potatoes are legal in all 50 states! The cheesy, creamy, potato-y goodness is so worth the extra calories.  (Note:  I added an extra cup of cheese because I’m crazy like that.)   I wouldn’t eat it every night, but man those were a good weekend delight. I’m so far gone on the Pioneer Woman bandwagon, that woman can do no wrong. Tonight Garrett and I have some steaks that need to be grilled (February grilling! I love living in California) and I think PW’s Whiskey Glazed Carrots will be making an appearance.  Yum!
  • So I finally got 500 Days of Summer from Netflix — I have been waiting for it FOREVER, but Garrett’s addiction to The Wire was taking priority — and I watched the first 20 minutes the other night and kind of hated it. Can it be?? Tell me it gets better because I wanted it to be so cute and everyone I know says it’s so great, but so far besides the music, there’s nothing great jumping out at me. I have such a girl crush on Zooey Deschanel (although who doesn’t?) and yes her clothes are cute and we all wish we could wear ruffles without looking like dorks, but something about this movie…I don’t know, I remain suspicious.  But I still have hope…
  • Speaking of movies, I saw Shutter Island on Friday night with Jeremy and Katie because they were kind enough to let me crash their date night and join them.  I probably would have dragged Garrett but he had other very important events to attend to (see: Beer Pong Tournament. We are classy around these parts) and was not available.  I thought it was pretty entertaining but it sure is getting kind of panned. Whenever I see movies that are based on books, I always end up wondering if I should read the book? 9 times out of 10 I prefer a book to the movie if I have read it beforehand, so when I see a film adaptation and I am luke warm on it  I always want to pick up the book in an effort to rescue the story (most recently I felt this way about The Lovely Bones.  The movie was just so…cheesy.) But since I know all the plot twists, I’m torn about wasting my time getting through the book. Hand wringing, people.  Hand wringing.  Have you read this book? 


What’s on your mind this morning?

Monday Musings: Reason # 472 why people never believe it when I tell them I’m half Mexican

Getting ready this morning I was a little bitter.

After some vacay, some time spent at the beach, and definitely some fun in the sun, I wasn’t dying to get back to work on a Monday morning, but I found a little inspiration in my bathroom cabinet this morning that kept me going in the form of Faux Tan. As I was doing my makeup I thought to myself — “To heck with it, I don’t want to go to work, but I’ve been at the beach for 4 days so I’m going to go a little heavy on the bronzer this morning to give myself that ‘fresh from vacation’ glow.” And it worked. I felt fabulous!

And then I walked into work.

THREE SEPERATE PEOPLE asked me today why I was so white when I just got back from vacation.

Whatever.

I’m back to being Bitter.

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