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Hey there! I'm Holly. A 40+ year old insurance-nerd wife, mom, beauty lover, and about a million other things in between. This is the place where I share about our lives, what I'm currently loving, books I'm reading, plus-size style, beauty recommendations, health + fitness endeavors and anything else I'm finding interesting at the moment. Thanks for stopping by!Instagram
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Tag Archives: First World Problems
My Life is an Episode of Modern Family
Have I told you this story before? I’m sure I have but I am too lazy to look in my archives. I do this in real life too — tell the same stories over and over again — so listen this is just what it would be like in real life, ok?
Oh, before I tell you this story — HAPPY FREAKING FRIDAY! Man is it just me or has this week felt long? Also contributing to my end of week super-sloth-ness, we hosted friends for dinner last night (hooray for mid-week dinner parties!) and while it was so much fun: we stayed up too late, I enjoyed one too many cocktails, and this morning my alarm sounded like a sledgehammer to the head. Can you believe when I was going to my favorite walmart bed pillows last night I actually had the audacity to say “Hmm…should I set the alarm for 4:30 am so I can get a run in at the gym before work?”
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAH…snoooooooooooooooze.
(Balance is not a concept I really understand, YET.)
Anyway, so back to my story. The one you have probably heard, yes. You see Garrett and I do not fight very much. Sure we disagree about things, but we’re generally good at coming to a resolution without much fanfare which is why I don’t have many raucous tales of mug shot worthy disputes on this blog and just like the cliche, we rarely go to bed angry. I kind of like it this way, actually. But about 6 months ago not only did I spent the entire evening pissed and sobbing at Garrett, but I also went to bed at like 8pm — AND I WENT TO BED ANGRY — alert the press! At the time I think Garrett found it the most befuddling because he could not figure out what he did wrong. It was very much this exact scene from Modern Family. Frankly, we are Phil and Claire. Well, actually Garrett is just Phil. I mean the resemblance is just uncanny at times.
So, what made me so angry? Let me tell you: he took every single book off of all 3 of my beautiful (and quite obviously, in my opinion) ORGANIZED BY COLOR Billy bookcases in our guest bedroom. And when I came home he nonchalantly said, “Oh, I decided to reorg the bookcases since there was no rhyme or reason to them.” Actually he didn’t say ‘reorg’ because that would be lame, but the truth is, I didn’t hear much of what he said after I walked into my the room that once housed my BEAUTIFULLY ORGANIZED BY COLOR books and saw them strewn about all over the floor. Hours of work now just tossed about into piles (gasp!) organized by authors’ names.
Something about this just made me so incredibly upset, but I think no one was more upset than Garrett, who just kept waiting for Ashton Kutcher to show up and tell him he was being Punk’d. That never happened though, and I just went to bed crying. My god, again, sometimes my melodrama seems so LAME the morning after. Anyway, it has now become something we laugh at because, really? How can you not. But we have also established the importance of hereinafter all books being organized by color, so you know: Duh! Winning! and all of that crap.
So! All of this to say, Modern Family rules. And this video kind of turns me on:
Happy Friday, Friends!&
Monday Musings: First World Problems Edition
I’m feeling annoyed today, and because it is Monday that is increasing it ten-fold. Therefore, I must vent:
Complaint #1: Bank of America Sucks Donkey Balls
I have done my banking there since 1996, and have pretty much hated them since the inception of our relationship for one reason or another, though I’m not sure there is a banking establishment out there that I would truly love. It just kind of is what it is, and I stay because it is a pain to move everything. HOWEVER, I recently received a random envelope in the mail from them saying “Hey, here’s a new debit card because your info was potentially compromised. Totally our bad, sorry about that.” And there were three main things that really irked me about the situation: 1) WTF? Potentially compromised? The nonchalance of the letter was irritating. 2) The card had a new number (obvs) but I had my old one memorized — which proved very convenient when making online purchases at new retailers — no need to dig through my wallet! and 3) Do you know how many things I have automatically debit out of my account? About a million — netflix, the gym, student loan payments…yada, yada, yada…you get it. But let’s just say in the last 3 weeks I have gotten a lot of “Something is wrong with your credit card” emails and phone calls (including a “Collections” call from 24 Hour Fitness complete with a rude ass girl on the other line demanding payment) and I would really like to just punch Bank of America in the stomach each time I have to deal with it.
Complaint # 2: Yahoo! You Are Dead to Me
So about a week ago I tried to sign into my Yahoo! account and got an irritating error message. I sent the appropriate complaint and received a canned response of “We’re working on it!” And then I waited. And sent another complaint. And got another canned response. And waited. And got an email with a ticket #. And waited. I don’t know what the hell they are working on but after more than a week I still can not check my mother-loving email. And for someone who checks their email probably 30 times a day this is…oh, how do you say…UNFUCKINGACCEPTABLE! Everything comes to that email address. EVERYTHING. Obviously I am going to have to move on to another address (especially after googling this problem and reading about people who have been dealing with it for over a year…um, no) but again, now I have to figure out by trial and error exactly what I need to update. Also, it means until Yahoo! fixes the problem everything stored in that account (aka future travel itineraries, groupons, contacts, etc) are gone. GONE. Ugh, the thought of it all kind of makes me ill. I think Yahoo! and Bank of America may be in cahoots.
Complaint #3: I miss the skin on my hands and knees
So Garrett and I joined a CrossFit Gym about a month ago (the nasty call from the 24 Hour Fitness Rep ended up being the perfect time to cancel our old gym membership…HA! Take that, bitchy chick.) and really I have loved every minute since, you know aside from the blisters on my hands and the rug burn (Yes, I injured myself doing modified push ups. Awesome). The first month you spend 3 days per week learning technique and most of the lifts and then do an abbreviated workout. Abbreviated. Yet I have pretty much been sore everyday since we joined. So last Friday we finished our course and now I guess we get to join the rest of the folks and do the real workouts, and honestly I feel a little freaked out about it. Sometimes I find the warm ups a challenge (embarrassing as that is to admit) so the thought of an entire 40-60 minute workout is freaking me out a bit. I just went online and looked at our WOD for tonight and HOLY SHIT. Now I have 10 hours to try and figure out how the hell one modifies a handstand push up. OHMYGOD.
I think I will leave it at my top 3 complaints because, really, that is probably enough. I don’t want to get on a roll or I will never shut up and I don’t need to start this day with a downward spiral in attitude.
What’s bugging you this Monday? You know you want to vent.
Whatever Happened to Macauley Culkin Anyway?
I recently had to stop watching Criminal Minds and if I’m being honest, I’m still mourning the loss of some regular Shemar Moore action. He is a fox, and if I had one of those celebrity freebie lists, he’d totally be on it but I long ago decided those lists were not for Garrett and I you see, because Garrett has poor celebrity judgment. The only evidence I ever need to present is the fact that before we started dating he had Lindsay Lohan posters adorning his walls — IN THE LIVING ROOM. Um, case closed. Granted, that was back in 2004 pre-rehab and she was pretty cute, but still. I think we can all agree that based on that information Garrett is NEVER allowed a celebrity freebie, so obviously it’s only fair that I refrain myself.
I used to get my Shemar fix almost nightly watching old reruns but our rendezvous ( wait – how do you make that word plural?) eventually had to come to an end because of my house. You see my house is old — old and creaky and did you know old creaky houses make noises when the temperature changes? Well they do, and because I have watched way too many episodes of Criminal Minds I can tell you that my house makes the exact noises that a prowler would make if he were slyly shuffling on our hardwood floors. My old, creaky house also makes the exact noises that a crazy rapist serial killer would make if there were one living in my attic. And they say television isn’t educational! The point is watching Criminal Minds was not helping me relax at the end of a long day, so I had to call it quits. But I miss it desperately!
Speaking of desperately missing, Garrett is in New Mexico for 11 days visiting his parents and I can count on one hand how many times we have slept apart for that long in our 5 year relationship. I know that sounds terribly Liza Minelli/David Guest, but it’s the truth. Sure we do weekends away from each other a lot, or overnighters here and there, we’re not total psychos, but this is like A WHOLE WEEK LONGER THAN THAT. To say it has disrupted my routine is not surpring. With no kids and no pets, coming home and downloading my day to the artwork hanging on the walls just isn’t quite as validating you know? There’s no one waiting for me at home to have dance parties to bad 90s music or to throw steaks on the grill so when I pull into the driveway our whole yard smells delicious. The vibe is a little different and I am vacillating between acting like a total single gal and feeling sorry for myself. Consequently I have also watched like 900 episodes of Who’s the Boss — I’m not sure if that counts as acting single or feeling sorry for myself, but at least it’s been quite entertaining. That was a good show and I miss those kinds of happy family comedies. When does Modern Family come back on, by the way? Anyway, as you can probably imagine all of this alone time has helped me harness my inner-spaz so tightly that I am now so afraid of every little creak in the house that I may officially qualify as medically paranoid. Which is why waking up this morning to find a man with a mask on and chainsaw in my backyard was more than a little unpleasant.
Apparently this man was just there to cut down a portion of my next door neighbors’ dying tree that was hanging in our backyard but I will let you know that was of little consequence for a multitude of reasons, including: A) DUDE IT WAS SEVEN IN THE MORNING and B) IT WAS A STRANGE MAN IN A MASK WITH A CHAINSAW. I had let myself hit the snooze a few times — mostly because I had woken up no less than 5 times throughout the night certain there was a masked man in my kitchen — but instead of that enjoying that extra sleep time and waking rested and refreshed I was startled awake by the sound of Leatherface outside our bedroom sliding glass door. Oh City of Sacramento, had I wanted that much adrenaline before 8am I would have just added a shot to my Go Girl, mmmkay? Please take note.
So pre-coffee sparring with Leatherface aside, I had actually made a plan of how I was going to enjoy this time while Garrett was away. Determined to not spend my evenings at home alone counting my heart palpitations, I had committed to a vigorous workout and socializing schedule which was fine in theory, but pretty much blew up in practice last night. When I got to my weightlifting class yesterday all the platforms, weight bars, and dumbbells were taken, even though I was 15 minutes early. Jerks! I love that class and I had actually been excited to workout only to be totally dissed by a room full of spandex clad cougars. There I was stuck at the gym with no iPod to speak of, on a treadmill, parked in front of the only TV showing Bill O’Reilly of all things. Every other TV had nice normal gym programming like The Food Network, and I get Bill Effing O’Reilly. I will save you the suspense and tell you that my workout did not last long and I went home feeling a bit dejected, mostly because that was supposed to take up a good hour and a half — what with working out and then showering afterward — and instead I got home about 30 minutes after I left and I hadn’t even broken a sweat. At least my package from Amazon.com had arrived while I was gone so it wasn’t a total bust.
Tonight I think I’m going to try working out again (I will bring my iPod for backup just in case) and I was hoping to then have a leisurely night catching up on my DVR, but when I stopped home for lunch this afternoon I discovered my cable AND my internet were out.
No cable. And No Internet.
You know what this means, right? There is a high probability that tonight it will just be me and the house.
Home Alone.
And well, I think this pretty much sums up my feeling on that: