This weekend, in our neck of the woods, spring arrived in full force.
I can’t believe I am saying this because I HATE talking about the weather — this, by the way, is another consequence of working many years of retail — but the weather has been so reflective of my moods as of late. One day it’s sunny and mid 70s and absolutely gorgeous, another day it’s a bit misty and damp, and other days it’s stormy and downright electric.
That sounds a bit melodramatic, but I actually feel like I am on the cusp of something great. Like I’m about to bust out of this hibernation phase! Does that sound crazy? You know what, don’t answer that.
I have really gotten my work stress in check in the first few months of the year. HOLY RELIEF, BATMAN! I’m also back to working out 4-5 times a week and man, my mental health is thanking me. Garrett and I are kicking ass and taking names together when it comes to finances, meal planning, and keeping our house clean (WHAT? That shit is stressful!) and lately I have felt so, so grateful to have a partner who is actually a partner.
I still have some goals in my head that are on-going (getting our yard in check, dealing with the garden, hiring a gardener, buying patio furniture) and some projects that are going to take some time to achieve (fitting back into all of my pants, getting back into the habit of reading for entertainment, decorating our guest bathroom, getting into a more regular schedule for blog-post writing) but I am going with the flow and it feels really nice.
What is dramatically different between life today and life a year ago today is that my plate is not as full (in all respects, frankly.) The upside? This is exactly what I need right now. My main goal in 2014 was to pursue peace, joy, rest and fun and man I am totally doing that. But as someone who tends to regularly bite off more than she can chew — the downside of this time in my life is that old habits die hard. I am constantly (and consciously) always fighting the urge to Do More. I think that’s where the stormy feelings come in.
(I sort of hate myself right now for using the term “stormy feelings” by the way. But dude, THE METAPHOR WORKS. And what are blogs for if not to talk about all of our feeeeeeeeeeeelings. heh)
No matter what conflict these two parts of my personality have, the pace of my life right now is a fantastic improvement! I’m guarding my weekends Fort Knox style. I’m scheduling in my priorities during the week like they are appointments. I am being gentler and less demanding of myself, for the most part, with things like not regularly updating the blog when it feels like too much. I’m not planning social commitments when I know I am going to want that time to do very important things like read magazines or take my dog for a walk. I am buying bubble bath in bulk.
It’s a work in progress, but so far it’s working out. I feel like all this nurturing is going to yield an awesome bloom over the next months and while I’m not sure what that will look like, I’m looking forward to it. We all need a little surprise every once in a while.