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Hey there! I'm Holly. A 40+ year old insurance-nerd wife, mom, beauty lover, and about a million other things in between.
This is the place where I share about our lives, what I'm currently loving, books I'm reading, plus-size style, beauty recommendations, health + fitness endeavors and anything else I'm finding interesting at the moment.
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Category Archives: Goals
2011 Summer Bucket List
Though we aren’t doing anything super exotic, like heading to Maui which we did two summers ago, I am definitely planning on enjoying the next few months. And it just wouldn’t be like me if I didn’t make a To Do List to celebrate (Hot damn, I love a good list!) Yes, I am still working on my overall 2011 Goals but I’m just considering this a short term subset of that list.
Here are some ways I plan to enjoy this summer.
Adventures
Go miniature golfing with Garrett (can you believe we have never done this together?)
Hike Feather Falls (our favorite local hike. OMG, can’t wait!)
Go Wine Tasting (if we hit up Amador, I can cross this off my 2011 list too. Multitasking!)
Have a picnic in the Plaza in Sonoma (Gina and Jim, consider yourself invited)
Get to San Diego to visit my cousin (Hi Jen! You are missed!)
Pack Dinner and a blanket and head to McKinley Park
Spend a weekend in Chico with my family
Go to the beach (um, and wear sunscreen!)
Have a rollerskating date with my cousin (Flashback!)
Superficial Goals (hey, we all need some)
Buy a cute new bathing suit (old ones are still cute, but no longer fit, woot!)
Find a maxi dress that doesn’t look like a tent when you put it on (Help!)
Make a ridiculously delicious Paleo dessert
Cook something with Bison
Finish redesigning and migrating website (this will involve calling a professional, I’m sure)
Get over my flabby arm phobia and just buy some damn tank tops in which to work out
Get a few pedicures (for everyone else’s sake. đ
Have a dinner party in my backyard before it gets sweltering
Relaxation
Read outside as often as humanly possible
Spend an evening drinking Mai Tais and (finally!) put your Maui photos in an album
Make an effort to get 8 hours of sleep per night (so hard in the summer because it’s SO DAMN HOT)
Enjoy your garden and can your little heart out when those tomatoes get overwhelming
Make Jam
Honestly, I can’t wait.
What are you up to this summer?
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Letter To The Universe
There are times when I think it is helpful to hold your tongue, but there are also times when I think you need to be direct and ask for what you want. Ahem…Universe, are you listening?
I want to write a book I feel proud of.
I want to work at a job that makes me feel inspired and appreciated.
I want wake up in the morning and feel excited.
I want to go to sleep feeling accomplished.
I want to feel like I have enough time. Time to relax, time to finish projects, time to learn.
I want my days to include cooking and reading and writing.
I want to feel ownership.
I want to push myself physically.
I want to work hard.
I want to take on something scary and feel confident that my best will be good enough.
I want an adventure where it all works out in the end.
I don’t think this is too much to ask…do you?
Things To Do This Week — in bullets!
What are you up to this week? I’d like to accomplish the following in my spare time:
1. Figure out what I’m doing with my life.
Oh this could be the longest bullet, but since I don’t talk about My So-Called Professional Life here it will be real short. Rest assured, the steps involved are taking up quite a bit of space on the To-Do List.
2. Get my freaking garden in order
120 square feet, people. This is a lot of space to manage with novice gardening skills, you see and I’m beginning to get anxious. I have like 50 plates spinning relating to this garden — seeds, little plants, direct sow, herbs, summer vegetables, flowers? HOLY MOSES. And now I must also test the soil in my garden beds since according to Finny this will help me grow a bazillion produce items? What am I even going to do with this alleged bazillion items? Sigh. I need a To-Do List for this item on my To-Do List.
3. Harness my inner party planner.
Garrett turns 30 in exactly 40 days, which consequently happens on a Saturday. Obviously there will be festivities. The problem is mostly that being the extrovert I am, I would like to throw the World’s Biggest Shindig. And as you know having friends over for dinner makes Garrett want to take a week off from life, so obviously he would like to have a low-key mellow evening with friends. I know it is his birthday after all, but I have some hand-wringing around the idea of such a landmark birthday going by without proper celebration. We must compromise at some point, and obviously I need to deal with invitations. I anticipate the management of this project to be, um…challenging to say the least.
4. Get some pants
The scale, that little bitch, has not really been moving for me as much as I would like in the past 2 months. The thing is — NONE OF MY PANTS FIT ANYMORE. In fact, the pair that I am wearing today could probably fit not only me, but also an elephant playing the banjo. And that is just in the booty area. It’s the biggest mindf*ck, really. I know I am working hard, my body composition is changing but that damn scale is being stubborn. It’s lame. And probably a post in itself, but I’m not going to do that to you today because I have talking A LOT about fitness lately and that’s probably sounding a bit like a broken record.
So…yeah — who wants to help?
2011 Goals
2010 was a fantastic year full of new adventures and accomplishments, but the biggest lesson I learned was that I needed to slow down a bit. In 2011 I want to focus on a few big goals and some small fun goals. My inner drill sargent thinks this list is too short, but I’m trying to listen to him a little less and keep in mind that if I get everything done, I can always make another list right?
So here’s what I’m focusing on this year:
Health
Lose 50 more lbs
Run another 5K (under 35 minutes)
Run a10K
Run a Half Marathon
Do 10 Non-Girl Push ups
Continue Paleo Cooking/Eating
Sleep 8 Hours Per Night
Travel
Visit all of the following places:
Austin
Arizona
New Mexico
Boston
Seattle
Maui
Mexico
Finances
Merge finances with Garrett
Add to Savings
Open Roth IRA
Rollover old Retirement Account
Make financial life more automated
*I know you are probably snoring after this category, but I must chime in really quick and note that I made my last credit card payment yesterday and I am OFFICIALLY FREE OF ALL CREDIT CARD DEBT! So it really makes me happy to not be writing “Pay off credit cards” on this list for the first time in probably 10 years. WOOT!
Home Improvement
Re-do Guest Bedroom
Paint Kitchen Cabinets
Paint Living Room, Office
Re-do Master Bedroom
Random Other Stuff Thrown In For Good Measure
Find a good red lipstick
Buy a pair of bootsMake a Cooking Bucket List (added above)
Read 50 books
Start Fertility Charting
Entertain at least once a month
Write somewhere daily
See one of my favorite writers speak
Go to the ballet
Wine Taste in Amador
Move website to WordPress
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I think it’s going to be a good year.
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September: Revisited
September was a very good month, which might seem odd since I hardly uttered a peep around these parts, but I think that is part of it. I did not pressured myself to do a single thing: not blogging, cooking, scheming, nor achieving. Absolutely no pressure. And it was kind of liberating. Itâs definitely a new attitude for me, but it is a good one, that will probably stick around. If you can believe it, I actually made To-Do lists throughout the month, and then mostly crumpled them and put them in the trash, opting to read a book or have a nice conversation instead. If this sounds super lazy to you, I totally get it. It sounds a little lazy to me, but it was part of my September Goals, and I ran with it. It wasnât all Couch Potato-ing though, promise.
Hereâs what I was up to:
Healthy Living
*For starters, I have lost 25 lbs since August! And there is no one more amazed at this than me. I am mostly amazed because â well, it just hasnât been a struggle and I donât know about you but I associate weight loss with struggle, deprivation, and general irritation. I feel so damn happy to have discovered a way of eating that works for me, that my body is responding super positively, and that I am feeling the best I have felt in years.
*I have also been getting a ton more sleep â so maybe there has been a little bit of Couch Potato-ing. But I think that has probably helped with the whole âthe best I have felt in yearsâ feeling. I am really listening to my body instead of just pushing through and I think that it is important. When my Naturopath recommended getting 8-10 hours of sleep per night I pretty much laughed in his face. But I have tried to make rest a priority, and what do you know I have found 8-9 hours of sleep per weeknight and sometimes 10+ on the weekends. It wonât be like this forever — I have no intention of sleeping my life a way, but it feels good to listen to my body, so for now, sleep is good!
Why My Neighbors Hate Me
*Mostly because we have been the cause of jackhammering and other construction deliveries such as ready mix concrete delivery from a sealcoating services between the hours of 7-8am lately. We are doing a major overhaul on our front and backyard and there has been some serious dust and noise. I always feel bad when it is noisy, but when I weigh it against the eyesore of a yard that my neighbors have had to look at for the last 3 years I think that it will be worth it for in the end. My driveway desperately needs asphalt paving services to have it fixed and give it a new look. I’ve taken some before pics and and a few during a bit of construction so when the whole thing is done I will show you a whopper of a Before and After. I am sooooo ready for a new yard.Â
Snuggle-Fest 2010 in Full Effect
*Well, my cousin Kelly had her baby â an adorable little girl with miniature munchable cheeks! That’s my mom holding her in the third picture and you can bet after one session of snuggling she was like “HOLLY, CAN YOU HAVE A BABY NOW?” “OK, WHAT ABOUT NOW?” “NOW?”
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*Excuse the iPhone photos, but really, grabbing my camera is the last thing I am thinking about when hanging out with this precious one. My thoughts generally vascillate between OMG so cute and OMG am I going to break her? Understandably, I leave the camera in my purse.Â
And thatâs the scoop.
In sum, life is good my friends.
On Balance and September Goals
So I made some goals in July — actually more like 900 hundred goals, or at least it kind of felt that way.
Then I made some goals in August — which pretty much was the reactionary “effing relax why dontcha? Jeeeez”
And this, friends, it the pace of my life always. Conceive, Commit, Complete…and then Collapse for a bit. Lather, Rinse, Repeat. I have so much I want to dream and do and be, and I just have no idea how to be balanced about it, but it is starting to become a struggle.
As you know I have been writing about my quest to become healthier before Garrett and I have a baby over at Bodies in Motivation. There are many parts of this whole quest, but the biggest one for me initially was figuring out where I am at currently, healthwise. I started seeing a Naturopath and he started with a battery of bloodwork, hormone tests, and neurotransmitter tests. (What the hell is a neurotransmitter? They are the chemicals that are involved in synaptic brain function — the common ones you have probably heard of are Glutamate, Acetylcholine, Dopamine, and Seratonin.)
Scientific gobbledygook aside, the results were pretty interesting, definitely shocking and can be drilled down to one thing: I’m kind of a stress mess. I’m delving into the specifics over at Bodies this week, so if you are interested in that, check that out, but the biggest worry the doctor had for me was about my lifestyle — and we aren’t talking diet, weight, exercise or any of that normal stuff you think about when you think of a doctor lecturing you.
“You need to find more balance.”
Apparently a few systems in my body have crashed from stress (actually his exact words were “People with lab work like this generally have problems getting out of bed”) which I thought was funny because I said to him “I certainly don’t feel stressed.” And he agreed that I definitely don’t come across as someone who is down in the dumps or freaking out. But upon further examination of my activities, my habits, my goals and my timelines he shook his head and said”
“It’s nice to want to be a better person and make the world a better place, but what good is it really doing if you are killing yourself at the same time?”
And really, I can’t argue with that. Pretty simply, no good can come from that. So I have spent the last week or two trying to figure out what balance looks like for me and seriously, THIS IS HARD, YO. I can always think of something to get done, something I need to squeeze in, something I should be doing, or a goal I could be working toward. And frankly, I really like that part of myself — it’s what gives me drive, motivation, and completing those things gives me a huge sense of self worth and self esteem. It’s hard to put the brakes on that.
But there is definitely work to be done. I mean, I think deep down I know that it is not normal to get up at 5am to read. If I am too tired to read in the afternoon or at night, maybe I need to take a listen to what my body is trying to tell me instead of setting my alarm for an hour earlier to circumvent the issue, you know?
With all of that said, September’s Goals are going to be a little anti-climatic:
*Sleep at least 8 hours per night
*Prioritize leisure activities like reading, cooking, and writing
*Continue exercising 3 days per week and quit feeling guilty that you aren’t doing it 5-6x
* Notice when I am pushing myself and ask “Does this have to be done right now?”
Some people might say that looks like the easiest goal list known to man — a lazy man’s manifesto even. To this overactive, overachieving, overcommiting crazy person, this may just be my greatest challenge yet.
So since you are here, let me ask ya: How do you find balance in your life? I would love any advice you have to give — from mini, to life changing!
August Goals
This is one of those times when having a blog makes me feel a little bit self conscious. Because life right now? Is kind of a snore. But it is a delicious snore, I promise, and it is very much by design.
You see July was a huge month for me. I got back on the list making bandwagon set out to acheive a million things, and ended up doing quite a few. While I was making that list last month I sort of forgot that there would be other things going on besides just Getting Stuff Done. I do that sometimes, some call it having unrealistic expectations, I call it hoping for the best! But there were definitely other things going on: things like happy hours, wine nights, birthday parties, baby showers, time with family, small dinners at home — Wonderful things! But still things, you know? Things that take time. And energy.
And also while I was making that list last month I sort of forgot this one thing about myself, and it is the thing that I am perpetually forgetting when someone mentions cocktails, or a night out, or a party, or a new restaurant that we should try, or a weekend trip, or a good show at one of my favorite bars — I Love To Be Alone. I am a pretty outgoing person, I’m very much on the go by choice, so much so that I have to sometimes have to remind Garrett that I like being alone and he just gives me that raised eyebrow look that says you can’t bullshit a bullshitter. But it’s true. I love it. I absolutely love being alone.
And sometimes I feel like I should whisper that. Like it’s a character flaw.
But the truth is, carving out alone time for myself has become harder and harder over the past few years. I’ve met wonderful people, I’ve managed to find a partner who makes me swoon, I’ve moved in with him, my family is all finally all relatively close together — there is so much abundance! But sometimes amidst all that abundance I forget to carve out the time for my own recharging. It’s this fatal flaw that I have and I want to be better about it. This week I have done a few things in pursuit of that recharge.
The other night when Garrett was working late I had a 4 hour stretch of luxurious time to myself. I beer-braised a chicken, roasted some vegetables, I organized my kitchen, wrote in my journal, I did some laundry, I blasted the stereo, I made a pillow fort on my couch and watched Friday Night Lights. I spent a good chunk of time just being, not trying to do something, produce something, read something on the internet, respond to something, email someone, call someone — none of it. I just did exactly what I felt like. I collapsed into my bed later that night refreshed and ready to take on the week.
Yesterday I took the day off of work for absolutely no reason. A Mental Health Day, I told my boss — and that’s just what it was. I slept in. Ate a leisurely breakfast. Opened all the windows and doors in my house and drank coffee with a Delta Breeze blowing through the house that felt way more autumn than summer. I went to Target. I went to the library. I napped. I read. I didn’t take the day off for any particular reason exept to do exactly what I felt like when I felt like it.
And although these things were necessary and rejuvinating and decadent — I fully acknowledge that they aren’t super blog-worthy. I didn’t spend the last week at a conference, meeting people I felt like I already knew. I wasn’t having life changing experiences over fancy meals or breathtaking views. I wasn’t taking a trip, I wasn’t crossing things off my Life List. I wasn’t taking gorgeous photographs of even more gorgeous writers. I was just here. Being myself. Being quiet. Honoring a part of me that doesn’t get to the front of the line that often. And honestly it was as rejuvenating as if I had been on the trip of a lifetime. With less unpacking! And I want more of that feeling. And I think this August, I’m going to make that happen.
July: Revisited
So I probably should have posted this, you know, on the first of the month but I like to think my lagging is more of a representation on how I’m going to treat August — and that is being lazy. It’s last month of summer, and since the weather has been so fantastic (I can’t even believe I am saying that) I want to enjoy that. Sure I will have goals (which I will probably post, you know, sometime) but I am definitely going to do a little more relaxing because man July was a busy one! Along with a 30th birthday extravaganza in Chico, a baby shower here in town, and a number of extra curricular work related things, I also managed to put a few other things on my list.
Here were my intentions for July, and in blue how I actually measured up:
Health and Wellness
*Make Appointment with Naturopathic Doctor – Done! And I actually went to that appointment and it was awesome. I’ll have to tell you about it.
*Make Appointment with Dermatologist to get skin checked – Done! Though I have a follow up appointment (eek!) because there were some “irregularities.” That word sucks.
*Workout 15 times – I did not do this. And, um, let’s just leave it at that for now đ
*Get Haircut – I also did not do this. I don’t know what my mental block is with stupid haircuts, it takes me forever to make an appointment!
*Get Pedicure (Trust me, this counts as Wellness! haha) Oh HELL YES, and my “A Good Mandarin is Hard to Find” toenails thank me for it.
Relationships
*Plan a Date Night Outing with Garrett – We sort of did this. Actually, I have a whole post brewing in my head about how I feel about “date night” and those expectations.
*Cook Dinner for Family or Friends at least twice – Yes! I cooked a Surf and Turf extravaganza for my mom’s birthday, and I did some cooking for Garrett and his uncles one weekend, and my mom and I had a girls weekend where we made some fun dinners. Good cooking all around, this month.
*Think of a thoughtful, creative present for my Mom’s Birthday – I think I did that, you should ask my mom. đ
*Have a Girls Night Out! – Well my official Girls Night Out was postponed, but my mom and I did have a girls weekend, so I think that counts!
Cooking and Baking
*Make Jam – Done! And it was awful, or I totally would have blogged it. I tried my hand at Nectarine Raspberry Freezer Jam, and although it was okay, I can officially say I hate Freezer Jam.
*Meal Plan for the next 4 weeks – Done.
Intellectual Pursuits
*Read and Review 4 books (on the blog or Goodreads) – Done! Are you on Goodreads? Why are we not friends?
*Submit one piece of writing to a website that is not your own – Hey, did you hear? I’m writing for Bodies In Motivation now.
Career
I postponed all of this until August
*Finish Coursework for 2nd Exam of Insurance Designation
*Schedule 2nd Exam
*Purchase Materials for 3rd Exam
Home
*Paint Guest Bedroom – Nope.
*Clean Out Closet – Yep.
*Do a Goodwill Run – Yep.
*Narrow Down Options for Landscape Contractors – Yep.
Money and Budget
*Try (really I mean it, honestly, try) to keep grocery budget under $400 – Uh, to be revisited. But mostly No, I did not keep our grocery budget under $400.
*Revise Our Monthly Budget – Also to be revisited another time
I have to say I feel pretty good overall. I may have set my expectations pretty high as far as things to accomplish, but that definitely motivated me. August is going to include a little more relaxing, but still a number of new and exciting things. I’m looking forward to it!
July Goals
After a personally and professionally draining 2008 I let myself off the hook for New Year’s Resolutions. 2009 would be the year of relaxing. And it was, thankfully, and my mental to do list was chock full of things like “chill out” and “take a deep breath.” By default, when 2010 came around I was sort of enjoying the lack of overarching direction and decided once again to cool it on my normally anal Mission Statement For Life. But after a year and a half, the little list maker inside of me is ready to bring it back. As much as lists do sometimes increase my pressure to accomplish, I have finally admitted to myself that I also thoroughly enjoy the act of accomplishing and have genuinely missed the ability to document, strikethrough, and appreciate my own efforts! So this month I’m getting back to goal-setting, and I hope you will indulge me.
July Goals
Health and Wellness
- Make Appointment with Naturopathic Doctor
- Make Appointment with Dermatologist to get skin checked
- Workout 15 times
- Get Haircut
- Get Pedicure (Trust me, this counts as Wellness! haha)
Relationships
- Plan a Date Night Outing with Garrett
- Cook Dinner for Family or Friends at least twice
- Think of a thoughtful, creative present for my Mom’s Birthday
- Have a Girls Night Out!
Cooking and Baking
- Make Jam
- Meal Plan for the next 4 weeks
Intellectual Pursuits
- Read and Review 4 books (on the blog or Goodreads)
- Submit one piece of writing to a website that is not your own
Career
- Finish Coursework for 2nd Exam of Insurance Designation
- Schedule 2nd Exam
- Purchase Materials for 3rd Exam
Home
- Paint Guest Bedroom
- Clean Out Closet
- Do a Goodwill Run
- Narrow Down Options for Landscape Contractors
Money and Budget
- Try (really I mean it, honestly, try) to keep grocery budget under $400
- Revise Our Monthly Budget
It’s a full list, but I think it’s a good list. And frankly just writing it down makes me excited to get started — funny how that works!
Life To Do List
I want to live a juicy life that is full of love.
I want to feel connected to those around me in a way that is authentic.
I want to acquire information and not things.
I want to work hard, but not just for the money.
I want to choose how I spend my time wisely.
I want to live with intention.
I want to feel confident in the way I express myself.
I want to embrace frugality.
I want to be kind.
I want to feel passion from the moment I wake up in the morning until the moment my head hits the pillow at night.
I want to be held.
I want to feel full of dreams.
I want to feel open to the opportunities the universe presents.
I want to consistently choose happiness.
