I’m having trouble writing about this pregnancy and I didn’t think that would be the case. I have things to say, of course. Many, if we are being frank. But they seem to be mostly vacillate between these awestruck feelings that can only be expressed in Pinterest style platitudes, or just your run of the mill debbie-downer complaints. Both are accurate, but both don’t seem to be blog-worthy you know? In an effort to document at least SOMETHING from this pregnancy, here is what’s on my mind 25 weeks in.
*The truth is, it’s been amazing. Nothing hyperbolic about it. It is literally unbelievable at times. He is moving around all the time and I am constantly aware that there is a human growing inside me. It feels less alien-like than I anticipated. I was sure pregnancy would feel like hosting a parasite, and let’s be honest: there are days when it does. But more often, he feels like a person and a constant companion. It’s weird to feel comforted by and in the company of someone when you don’t even know what they look like. It’s less like there is a freeloader hanging on and more like…a friendly ghost? You see…this is why I don’t write about this.
*I’ve also really been struck by the fact that while this feels like a monumentally unique experience in my life that is completely full of firsts, it is something that people have been doing since the dawn of time. And it happens so frequently that the regularity and urgency of certain symptoms can be aggregated into generic weekly emails that ALL PEOPLE going through this experience can read and relate to. I’m going to use the word relate loosely here though, because while I do find that my What To Expect emails are pretty on point symptom wise, they are also full of clickable links that are titled things like “How To Enjoy Sex After You Lose Your Mucus Plug” and I MEAN REALLY, BRO?????????
*On the more complainy side: Can I tell you that one of my pet peeves in life used to be people who would be knocked up and forgetful and then use “pregnancy brain” as an excuse. UGH all of the eye roll emojis! (And yes, I realize this makes me sound like a completely intolerant asshole, but hey — we all have our things and pregnancy brain was mine.) And now I’m sure you know exactly where this is going, and yes I am eating so much crow that it’s not even funny. Now in addition to being an intolerant asshole, I have realized that I am also a complete idiot lunatic who puts things like milk and raspberry jam back IN A CUPBOARD instead of in the refrigerator. The saddest part is that I won’t even notice for days. Or, maybe I won’t even notice at all and Garrett will find them. Old milk scavenger hunt! Awesome!
*Also, last Wednesday we got in the car after we both got off work and hopped right back into rush hour traffic to go out to the house of some our friends who were hosting our dinner/bookclub. They live about 30 minutes away but 5:30 traffic it took just about an hour and when we were about 3 blocks from their house when I looked over at Garrett and remembered that book club was actually the following night. WHOOPS.
*I think this sort of goes without saying, but I’m going to say it: The Plus Sized Maternity Clothes Market is EGREGIOUSLY UNDERSERVED. I haven’t had too much trouble shopping for clothes since my sizing is on the cusp, and I’ve only recently begun to wear exclusively maternity clothing, but HOLY SHIT, WHAT DO PEOPLE DO? Please take this million dollar idea and run with it, somebody — because I (and many other women, I’m sure) would give you all our money!
*Also, we have settled on a name which feels GREAT. We had a long list of names going for the first couple of months and they were all lovely names, they just weren’t THIS baby’s name. I’m not sure how to tell you that I knew that, but I just knew that this was a great name list if I was writing a novel, but my baby’s name wasn’t on it. And then one day Garrett threw out a name idea that we both kind of laughed at initially. But then all of a sudden it was like “Wait this could possibly be perfect.”
*For weeks we just let it simmer, and then one day we both just started using it, and it is totally his name and it is perfect and I am so happy with it that even the few dissenting opinions we’ve gotten over it are just rolling right off my back because DUH, IT’S HIS NAME — it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks about it. We’ve told all our family and some friends here and there and we aren’t actively keeping it a secret or anything, but I haven’t really discussed with Garrett whether I was going to put it on the blog before he was born (I should add that to the list) so I guess I’ll have to get back to you on that one. If you are dying to know (no one is DYING to know, Holly) I’ll give you a hint: It’s a foreign car manufacturer, which coincidentally will go nicely with his race car themed nursery. (Can you tell my husband is a motorsport enthusiast? LOL)
*And when I say race car themed nursery, I hope you know I mean that room in our house that is filled with crap, though this is where I note that I have favorited one set of race car prints on etsy. Yep, “race car themed nursery” right there. Someone alert Pinterest.