The thing I love most about Garrett is that I never quite know what is going to come out of his mouth.
In Nordstrom Rack:
H: Hey babe, what do you think of this necklace?
G: Oh yeah, it’s awesome. You are trying to look like a chinese checkerboard, right?
H: Ok, what about this purse? This purse is cute though, right?
G: Oooooooooooooh I see. We’re going through a gaudy phase, are we?
(For the record, it was cute damnit! Also $300. Nordstrom Rack, remember that you are THE RACK and not actually Nordstrom.)
On Face Wash:
G: I think we need some new face wash in the shower, this one is drying my face out. What do you think?
H: Oh, you don’t like the Garnier Fructis one?
G: Yeah, no more Gardener Fruit Loops. I think I want to go back to Oil of Old Lady.
As we got into bed recently….
G: Hey :::sniffs at me::: did you buy a new face wash?
H: Yeah, it was on clearance at Target the other day, I thought I’d try it out. Why does it smell weird?
G: No, it smells good. It smells like…you know, older lady naturals.
H: OLDER LADY NATURALS? What on earth does that even mean? Because that sure doesn’t sound like it smells good.
G: Older Lady Naturals — you know, like lavender and jojoba and shit. It smells good. I like it. Good Night babe!