Don’t Call It A Comeback, I’ve Been Here For Years

My first CrossFit workout was on October 9, 2010. The funny thing is I didn’t actually start writing about it here until December of that year. In fact, at one point I even professed this would not become a “CrossFit Blog.”

Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeah, sorry about that guys. ๐Ÿ™‚

The point of all of that is to say, holy crap that is almost FIVE YEARS. That is the longest I have ever committed to any type fitness routine.

I have learned a lot about myself through CrossFit in these last five years. The most memorable: “skinny” is just a descriptor – not a goal state, fitness can TOTALLY be fun, and finally that yes — often times running is, in fact for recovery.


But, can I confess something to you? There is still occasionally a little nagging voice in the back of my head that says, five years into CrossFit you should look more like this:
I mostly have that thought while doing burpees, btw. And for the record, she only started CrossFit in 2009 so is it THAT unrealistic?

Ok, ok — so MAYBE it is not realistic to want to look like a 26 year old, full time, sponsored athlete. ๐Ÿ™‚ย  I get it. But I would be lying if I said there weren’t times where I feel embarrassed to have been doing this for so long and still be a middle-aged lady who has a good 80 lbs to lose. With the surge in popularity of CrossFit in the last few years I almost cringe anytime someone says “Oh Holly is a CrossFitter.” I feel like I’m a walking anti-poster child.

So some contributing facts: I worked out 4-6 days a week for the first 3 years I trained at the gym. I got phenomenal results.
Then I really began reducing the amount of training I did in February of 2013 when I got a new position at work. I guess in hindsight I literally sold my fitness level for a raise. Of course it was more complicated than that, and I’d do it again in a heartbeat if offered the same type of opportunity, but obviously when you make a serious amendment in input, the output also changes. And that has left me in a little bit of a weird fitness space.

End of 2010: starts CrossFit
2011-12: Busts ass in the gym working out 4-6 days per week. Ran my first 5k. Ran my first half marathon. Lost 100 lbs. You know, no big deal.

Mid 2012: Really hit my CrossFit Peak!

UntitledIt’s blurry, but one doesn’t need a clear photo to see the lack of a mid-section spare tire. These days I can hardly remember how that feelsย  ๐Ÿ™‚
Most of 2013: The Lost Year and yet I still managed to run 20 miles of a relay race while living out of a van with 7 other people.
2014: Lots of time trying to get my fitness routine right. Sometimes I succeeded, sometimes I failed.

But the question I keep asking myself is what will 2015 hold? And that is the question I still haven’t answered with one quarter down. Let’s not even get into that stress that is adding a September wedding to the mix. I think I’m supposed to be OBSESSED with working out, right? Which makes my fitness struggle feel even more confusing.

Is this the year I will recommit myself to CrossFit? Is this the year I find something else completely? Have I run my course with CrossFit? There are SO MANY variables and I don’t have any of them worked out, frankly. At this point I am taking it on a week by week basis but I can tell you my instinct is to mount a CrossFit comeback.

I have to be honest though you guys: COMEBACKS ARE HARD.

But I am very invested in my own fitness. I’m also invested in my sanity. And strangely enough, the two are very intertwined. I have no idea how this story is going to end, but I definitely feel like there is hope that the little ass kicker within me ain’t down for the count.

Starting my day off on a good note. Also on a stack of truck tires. Same diff...

Psssst: CrossFit Advice For Newbies

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5 Responses to Don’t Call It A Comeback, I’ve Been Here For Years

  1. Beth says:

    Just got cleared to workout again post baby and I’m in the same boat trying to figure out what fitness will look like for me in 2015. For now I think it will be wrangling the dog on long walks with the babe in an Ergo. But man this post of yours makes me miss CrossFit…

  2. I feel like I’m hitting my stride at the gym lately, things are really starting to click for me. I used to go 2-3 times per week but I’m really trying to up it to 4-5! I feel like the more I go to the CF, the easier it is to go more! Get back on that horse and rediscover your love for CF!

  3. Erica says:

    Ha, “anti-poster child.” UNTRUE, but funny. I happen to find you highly inspirational, even if I am a carb-obsessed runner at heart.

  4. Sarah K says:

    The hardest part for me is knowing that I was so much stronger in the past. It’s getting over that whole pesky ego thing that’s the toughest. But you know the movements and know how good it all makes you feel. Best of luck getting back on the horse! Crossfit forever!

  5. La. says:

    I’ve not tried CrossFit, but I love the gym. Alas I won’t be back until they are a bit older BUT I’m rockin’ the at home workout… Meh, I’m STARTING to see results now that my diet is more spot on. I think you are looking great and 100 pounds!!!!? That is so amazing!