One More Time (But Maybe) With (Less) Feeling(s)


Well Jesus, it sure has been an emo couple of weeks around this blog, YIKES! Hoping to put that all to bed this week. I feel like these last two weeks have been a complete blur, but I’m coming out of the fog.


I was in Iowa last week again for work for like a split second (literally in the air longer than I was in meetings) (Sorry we couldn’t meet up for lunch Jess! Next time!) and while that would normally be a quick and easy trip, it ended up being really exhausting. I was up at 4am to catch my flight Wednesday morning, spent a long day travelling (WHY, OH WHY CAN THEIR BE NO DIRECT FLIGHTS TO DES MOINES!) and when I got to my hotel on Wednesday evening ready to change my clothes, unpack, hell, JUST WASH MY HANDS IN A NON PUBLIC BATHROOM FTLOG, they were like “Sorry, we overbooked we don’t have a room for you.”

I mean…WHAT?

It was like the straw the broke the camel’s back for me and I basically had a mini breakdown in the lobby of the hotel. I wasn’t crying because there was no hotel room, or because I’d had a long travel day, or because I hadn’t eaten yet that day after making the rookie mistake of forgetting to pack a breakfast and having connecting flights were so close together that I couldn’t stop for food, or because my dog was at home and had been sick for a few days and now I was anxiously leaving him behind, or because I also hadn’t had time for coffee and after 12 hours of being awake the headache I had going made me sure I had a brain tumor, or because my grandma had just died and I was not well with that news just yet. I was crying because of all of it. All of that together in the span of less than a week just made this sudden hotel snafu when I was thousands of miles away from home just feel like too much.


The poor 20 year old kid who was the “supervisor on duty” just kept looking at me with a shocked and confused face and kept saying “I’m so sorry! This is the worst part of my job.”

Yeah, you and me both — kid. 🙂

I also cried again on the phone with my mom when they dropped me off at the super nasty “replacement hotel” after I found cigarette butts in the toilet and realized that the TV would have to be on all night to drown out the noise of the freeway outside my FIRST FLOOR WINDOW. But after a good pep talk I was able to get myself together enough to call the hotel supervisor back again and tell him the room wasn’t going to work and I would need to stay somewhere else. Somewhere within actual walking distance of my workplace since I did not rent a car. Somewhere where people didn’t smoke INSIDE THE HOTEL ROOMS. Somewhere that I could walk to find a place to eat dinner because ZOMG MUST EAT RIGHT NOW OR I WILL EAT YOUR ARM OFF, HOTEL SUPERVISOR BOY.

Luckily he was able to work it out.

I think he was just afraid I was going to come back to the lobby and cry again, and who knows, I just might have.

It all worked out in the end, but I came home Friday evening (the 15th anniversary of my dad’s passing) with bags under my eyes and a little more world weary than I had left and I just sleeeeeeeeeeeeept. There was a lot of sleeping this weekend and beyond unpacking my suitcase, not a lot else. WHAT A MONTH!

But the fog is lifting. And (THANKFULLY) I took this week off of work so my plan is just to get back to my life. I read a ton this last week (the upside of spending 12+ hours on planes) and flipped through a bunch of magazines, and got in touch with that tiny little creative spark inside of me that needs to be stoked regularly in order to stay lit. I have lots to say and share and write and do, so I feel like I am back. In life and in this space.

I’ve missed you all. How are ya?

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10 Responses to One More Time (But Maybe) With (Less) Feeling(s)

  1. Jesabes says:

    Holy hell, that sounds like quite the trip! Hopefully I can catch you next time;) I love that you called the hotel out on the replacement! I’m not sure I’d have even thought of it.

    P.S. You can stay here anytime:)

  2. Lindsay says:

    OMG! I feel like you need a big hug! I don’t even know what I would have done…so glad you are taking this week off and just putting life back together. I’ve been there and I’m thinking of you and wishing I NEVER have a day like that anytime soon.

  3. Carol says:

    I would have cried in the hotel lobby as well.
    Enjoy your week off!

  4. KellyBrown says:

    Gurllll….sounds like one helluva a week! Next time you should tweet these hotel issues — I bet lots of us have friends or family in Des Moines that would gladly have put you up — in clean, nonsmoking atmospheres, many with food AND dogs to play with!

    And I also would have had a total meltdown! Stay strong, it gets better!

  5. sizzle says:

    I think you should take as long as you need to feel your feelings. It’s a roller coaster, that grief thing. After the day you’d had? I would have been bawling. Glad to see you back on line. xo

  6. Sarah says:

    Holly, So sorry to hear about your grandma, let me know if there is anything i can do for you or if you just need to talk it out!! Love you lots!

  7. Susannah says:

    Oh yes, I would have cried and wailed! So not what you needed so I’m glad the weekend was restful. Very happy to see you back. I am a litle rocky myself due the disappearance of a very very beloved cat – just trying to hold it together and find some acceptance deep within me.
    Oh, and I hope Buster is feeling ok again.

  8. Kristin says:

    So glad you are back! I hope things are getting better.

  9. Fifi says:

    Crikey. What a week. Sometimes you need to deploy the meltdown. Thank goodness you are back for cuddles with your dog. Gorgeous picture of him by the way. Glad you are feeling better.

  10. Oh, honey. I want to teleport to CA and give you the biggest, longest hug EVER. Love to you. Peace to you.