Wow…so this is probably the last progress report of the year. That’s weird to think about. I guess I should also start thinking about what next year’s goal setting/tracking will look like. These updates worked somewhat well this year — the idea was to stop allowing “achieved vs un-achieved” be the only barometer of success and celebrate PROGRESS — but I think the first half of the year was slightly more successful. There is going to be lots of thinking done on that front — what do I want next year to look like, what do I want to focus on — but honestly I just don’t think I’m in the right head space to start planning that just yet.
Maybe in a week or two.
November was a rough month, you guys. 50% success as far as intentions go: We had some fun meals with my family and Garrett’s mom’s visit was definitely a success in that it happened and we all made the best of it. But obviously with Garrett’s grandma dying and all of that it was a much different visit than I think any of us thought it would be. But I think that was even more powerful, actually. I can’t tell you how many times Garrett and I said to each other during that week, “Can you believe a week ago we were concerned with dust bunnies and meal planning and now…NOW all of that sees SO IRRELEVANT.”
Time is weird that way. I mean, I am a planner. There is no way I will ever NOT be someone who makes lists and sets goals and makes plans. (More on that later this week in my monthly book update. During November I read this book which was so interesting!) But the time is going to go by whether we make plans or not. Most of the time I find that sentiment super motivating — time is going to go by anyway, might as well get stuff done. But something about this November has just made me realize that I spend a lot of time planning for the future and that definitely does make it challenging to live in the present.
I posted this picture on instagram last week and I have literally been thinking about it daily since I originally saw it.
I do a lot of thinking about the future and it helps me in a lot of important ways. But one of the consequences of that is that it also creates a very particular anxiety in me that has just sort of weaved its way into my lifestyle. And I think I want to work on that. So with that,
December Intentions
I’m just going to aim for some peace.
I would like to try and finish this year being focused on the present. Sure there are lots of things I want to accomplish, and I don’t plan on sitting on the couch for 31 days doing nothing, thinking about nothing, and going where the wind takes me. But I just need to be in the moment a little bit.
What that looks like? I have no idea, but I’m willing to throw my plans out the window and find out.
I’m hoping that this will help me narrow my focus for 2013 and give me a little bit of clarity. I have done A LOT of thinking about how I thought 2012 would look and how it actually looked and definitely have some things to say about that soon, but I want to make sure I close out what has been an awesomely successful and challenging year in a peaceful place, so that I can start a fresh page next year.
How are you doing with living in the present? Did you have a phenomenal 2012? Are you planning for 2013 yet? What’s on your plate?
Oh man, I understand. I’m a planner too. And my grandma recently passed away and man if that doesn’t make you just stop and take a second to realize what is important. It is sad it takes something like that, but I definitely need to live more in the present.
For 2013 I’m planning to try Whole 30! EEEK!
I cannot believe that it’s almost the end of the year… This reallllly made me think!
This has nothing at all to do with your lovely post, but I had to comment on the instagram feed on the side of your site. I glanced over and thought, “Why does she have a picture of Jordan Knight on her instagram account?” And then, when I clicked on it, it’s a picture of GARRETT! *laugh* And now I’m singing, “Have a funky, funky Christmas”. aaaaahhhhhh….
2012 was a very busy, challenging year with some really big highs and really low lows. I’m ready for a mellow 2013 where I don’t check off multiple big life things like: engagement, buy a house, new job (partner), moving, wedding, cancer. I’m pretty bad at living in the now but I try every day to not future trip and to not live in what was. It’s a struggle but a worthwhile one.
One thing that struck me after reading this post is that while I am also a person who plans, I am not a person who reflects. My tendency is to “move on”, “shut the door” and so on. So if I am not dwelling on negative events or the stuff I can’t go back and change, I am also not celebrating accomplishments or reflecting on anything with a view towards improvement. I think I am terrified to know myself. Wow, never said that publicly or even privately.
This is why I love reading your blog. I get to thinking. I want come up with some way to plan, track and reflect (without judgement) in 2013.
Thanks, Holly! Here’s to a peaceful and thoughtful December.
I love the quote you posted. I often tend to be a planner and therefore can be quite anxious at times. I love the idea of monthly goals and intentions and would like to incorporate them into my life in 2013.
I remember a few Decembers ago after we had been trying to get pregnant for two years. I just wanted Peace (exactly like your goal for this month.) I’m not “religious-y”, but I remember praying for peace and blogging that all I wanted for Christmas was just hope and peace. And wouldn’t ya know I got pregnant that January? There is definitely something to be said for peace (and hope!).
In me, anxiety presents as diarrhea. (TMI I know but you need to know that in this situation.) I am currently living in a 24-foot RV that has a 20 gallon tank to hold everything that goes into the toilet. When it is full, I have to connect a 3-inch hose to it to empty the tank. I’m finding that to be a great motivator to help me live in the present. 🙂 Now when people ask me when I’m moving on or where I’m going next I say whenever and wherever the mood strikes. I don’t make plans beyond the next hour or two. I can’t believe how freeing that is. And I can quickly tell when I start backsliding. 🙁