10 Things You Might Not Know About Garrett

Well you know he has a salty sense of humor and a high tolerance for crazy (hello — he’s dating ME!) but there may be some things you don’t know about the boy behind the blog. Today I thought it might be fun to pull back the curtain a little on my favorite dude ever.


1. His name isn’t really Garrett.

No, this isn’t some blogger pseudonym, he does actually go by Garrett in real life too, but his parents actually named him Charles. So on paper he is really Charles Garrett Franklin even though has always gone by the Garrett. You know when he’s not answering to G-Unit, G-Money or G-Funk. Charles is a family name and they liked the way Charles Garrett sounded rather than Garrett Charles so that’s what they named him. After a lifetime of telling teachers that he doesn’t go by Charles, he definitely won’t do that to our own kids.

2. The word “Husky” gives him PTSD.

Oh the awkward years. During Garrett’s (Late 80s/Early 90s) he had to buy “husky” sized pants but not everyone carried them back then. Since pants were such a booty-licious drama, and Garrett’s grandma was skilled enough to sew him pants, he used to pick out fabric from the store, send it to her and she would mail back his own couture Hammer Pants.


3. He is obsessed with all motorsports. Well, except Nascar.

Formula One, Moto GP, World Super Bike, V8 Super Cars, Indy Car, World Rally, OMG the list goes on and on. If it has wheels, he will probably watch it race all while nail biting, yelling at the television, and pre-empting the announcers. I think his dream career is basically to be Will Buxton. If you want to know why he doesn’t love Nascar you’ll have to ask him. The answer is waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too long and thought out for one bullet point.

4. He is also an only child.


Yep. We’re both lonely onlies. Well, except neither of us is lonely. That said, we are both completely comfortable with the idea of having an only child. Or of having 10,000 babies. We’ll just have to see what happens. It makes both of our extended families super small, but we are lucky that we both have awesome cousins who are similar ages that make up for the lack of siblings.

5. He is basically fearless – unless you want to stick a needle in him or touch his eye, take a picture of him or blog about him.


Garrett will only have blood drawn in life or death situations. Oddly enough, he was in an EMT/Paramedic program for awhile and was around needles all the time with no problem. Just don’t bring the needles around his arm. Similarly, he will avoid cameras like the plague. He hates having his picture taken and whenever I talk about blogging about him he gets a little itchy. Today’s post was collaborative, and he only agreed to it because so many of you requested “More Garrett!” on my recent survey. I’m sure after this post he’ll probably go underground or something. 🙂

6. The eye ball fear is inconvenient since he is almost completely blind without his glasses.


I mean like Bliiiiiiiiiiiii-ind. But he refuses to even think about lasik because he is sure there is needles and eye balls involved and that is a No-Go.

7. His Bachelor Decor when we met left a lot to be desired

All I will say about this is when we met he had a Lindsay Lohan poster hanging in his living room. Sure this was pre-coke-head Lindsay who was darling, but oh has he never lived that down. Speaking of things he’ll never live down, he used to have a Laser Tag blanket on his bed.

“What? It’s a blanket. And it still works!” This was his 22 year old excuse for terrible bedding, and literally the next day I took him to the mall and made him buy a legit duvet. Bachelor men, man.

8. He is an encyclopedia of random BBC programming

Inspectory Lynley, Ballykiss Angel, Luther, Prime Suspect, Torchwood, Keeping Up Appearances — all shows Garrett has turned me onto. He is a veritable Anglophile when it comes to TV and Mini Series’ but oddly enough he was a hard sell on Downton Abbey at first. Obviously he totally came around.

9. He has a serious mayonnaise aversion, but beyond that he will eat almost anything. And 10 times more of it than you would expect.


Even amazing homemade mayo hasn’t converted him. And he can practically spidey-sense it if it’s in his food. He should bottle that skill and sell it. But instead he just refuses to eat mayonnaise based dishes. That said, he doesn’t refuse to eat much else. He can be a really impressive glutton when he puts his mind to it. 🙂

10. One of his major life regrets is sitting next to Suge Knight in the airport once and not talking to him.

I mean, I can’t really blame him. I probably wouldn’t have talked to him either. Garrett doesn’t live his life with many regrets though, and that’s one of the many things that I just love about him!


Hope you learned something new about my Partner in Crazy!

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21 Responses to 10 Things You Might Not Know About Garrett

  1. LizScott says:

    OMG the NASCAR thing. Mike’s reasons for hating NASCAR are like, twenty fold.

    Garret should get on Twitter if for no other reason than to follow Will Buxton. He’s awesome.

    • Holly says:

      I know, right? Even *I* follow Will Buxton and I kind of love him! We all need to see a race together some day…Austin…let’s make it happen! I will SETTLE for a televised one, but OMG in real life!!! So fun.

      • LizScott says:

        I am not even kidding when I tell you that I could take us back to Spa for less money than buying tickets at Austin. They priced that shit SO HIGH it is absolutely insane. Grumble grumble

  2. Angela says:

    I’m speechless… there is too much awesome in this post. Custom Hammer Pants there just aren’t enough words.

  3. AndreAnna says:

    I love mayo like a love song baby. I may have to break up with Garrett.

    Also, Mike and I joke about the “husky” thing all the time? Have you ever seen Maragaret Cho’s stand-up bit on it? OMG.

    (And for the record, I just spent 15 minutes on youtube looking for it and can’t find it. 🙁


    • Holly says:

      Oh AndreAnna, you would take him back in a heartbeat out of pity alone if you saw the photographic evidence of the Hammer Pants. 🙂

      I love Margaret Cho, but don’t remember hearing that. DAMN!

  4. Oh Garrett!

    #5 is pretty similar to Sean. Must be an ARCFit boy thing! 🙂

    • Holly says:

      Fo sho! Is Sean scared of needles too? Maybe Garrett will help him wash cars at the ARCFit blood drive for Kristina’s mom. I was pleeeeeeeading with him to sign up and he’s like “NOPE. Can’t do it. CAAAAAAAAAN’T DO IT.”

  5. Chelsea says:

    Lasik: nope nope nope for the exact same reasons. NOOOOOOOOPENOPENOPE.

  6. Roberts says:

    If the Lindsay Lohan poster was a movie poster (which if I recall it was) you have me to thank for that. I hope you didnt toss it, it was a legit production company movie theater poster (i actually still have a handful myself of other movies) and if she dies young it becomes worth….$3.50 maybe?

    • Holly says:

      Yep. It’s completely your fault Matt. I believe there was another poster featuring Kate Beckinsale but I can’t remember for what movie. I’m gonna blame you for that one too. 🙂 I’m sure Garrett saved it. It’s probably packed away with the Laser Tag blanket.

  7. sizzle says:

    The husky pants story is amusing me to no end. CUSTOM! Hammer! Pants! Ha!

    Mr. Darcy goes by his middle name too so I have heard all the stories about how that is confusing for teachers and such. (His first name is also a family name.) My father went by his middle name too. Middle namers unite! Darcy also had a pretty terrible bachelor pad though, to his credit, he did have real bedding. He just had one pudding cup in his fridge. That was it!

    Garrett sounds like an awesome guy but I already kinda knew that. Awesome + Awesome = AWESOMEST!

  8. Umm, let’s discuss some things. Number one, HUSKY. I never knew Husky sizing even existed, but Chris also used to wear the Husky boy clothes. Womp womp womp.


    I hate mayonnaise too, G-Unit, ME TOO.

    Finally, I’d like to hear the reasoning about NASCAR.

    Finally, finally, this whole post really just makes me want to drag you two kids camping with us so we can discuss ’90s rappers and childhoods around a fire and beer.

  9. K says:

    I loved this so much.

    Rally racing and “Keeping Up Appearances” are some of my favorite things too.

    Also, Suge Knight–even just pictures of him–scares THE PANTS off me. Yowza.

    • Holly says:

      Right? Garrett said he had like 5 body guards. I mean…WHO CAN GUARD SUGE KNIGHT’S BODY????

      And yay for chicks who like Rally racing! Woot!

  10. Lisa says:

    I totally agree with him on mayo and I probably wouldn’t have talked to Suge Knight either.

    I got to hold a starting grid sign for a Rolex Series road race once and it was awesome. It probably should be embarrassing how excited I was, but James told me one of the track employees came over and told him that he’s worked hundreds of races and he still gets excited every time, so I felt a slight bit better about being all HELLSYEAHRACETRACK!!!! I swear, you can feel the air vibrate with adrenaline.

    • Holly says:

      Oh Garrett will be so jealous! I totally agree on the adrenaline…I was sort of ho hum on motorsport in general and then we went down to Laguna Seca for Moto GP one year and THE ENERGY! It’s crazy town. Super exciting. I mean, I’m not anywhere near Garrett’s level of fanaticism but I do enjoy a good race!

  11. Maire says:

    My own Husbeast is “Not A Fan Of” mayonnaise. It goes along with his distaste for canned tuna. Apparently one of his childhood friends always had him over for dinner on nights when some sort of tuna creation was being served — and said friend also overdid it on the mayonnaise, probably in a pasta salad. While it means that I get his portion of coleslaw at dinner, and he never steals my lunch fixings, it also means I never get to eat my Mum’s tuna casserole again. And it’s tasty (not paleo/low-carb, but definitely tasty) 🙁