So on my long list of things that I hate overhearing women say is, “I’m growing my hair out for my wedding and I can’t wait to chop it off when it’s over.”
Other things you can add to that list:
“I want long and lean muscles, not bulky ones.”
“I get along soooo much better with guys.”
“I’m trying to lose 5 lbs.”
and basically any iteration of the phrase “When is he gonna put a ring on it.
But let’s get back to the wedding hair issue: What is with that? I totally get that having long, romantic hair is the image that we are most bombarded with as “future brides” but the idea that you would spend time having a hair style you don’t love (ie: I can’t wait to chop it off when it’s over) because you want to look like this archetypal bride makes me want stand up on my anti-media soap box. (Also: OMG, no. This is not for me.) But don’t worry, that’s not at all where this post is going.
You see, I actually have crazy long hair right now. Like way past my shoulders long, and I’m pretty sure the last time I had hair this long I was writing Pearl Jam lyrics in black sharpie on my high school locker and wondering if Jordan Catalano was going to ask me to the prom. I realized recently that it’s just…not my preferred hair length. It’s fun, I can do a lot of things with it, it goes back nicely in a ponytail, but I just don’t really feel like it fits me. I love long hair on other people, so I can’t really explain it, but it just doesn’t feel ME, you know?
So the other day I was doing my hair as I got ready for work and I thought to myself, “Self, you should tame this crazy mane and get it chopped.” And then without skipping a beat, I thought to myself “Oooooh, but will I regret it when we get married?”
AND THEN I DIED OF SHOCK AT THE HYPOCRISY OF MY SUBCONSCIOUS.
And then I made an appointment with my hairdresser. For this Friday, actually.
I’m definitely going to get it cut shorter because it’s time. The problem is I spent just about the entire decade of the 2000s with an A-line bob, which seems to be the Go-To suggestion whenever I talk about cutting my hair. And while I love love love that cut (and consider it the reason that I love shorter hair to this day) I feel like I’ve been there, done that. I want to branch out.
Here is my FAAAAAAAAANTASY HAIR, but do not select that because I don’t even have ANYWHERE close to the amount of cajones required to do this. (Yet. But I’m working my way there.)
So that leaves us with the following three options:
Option 1 – Round // Choppy // With Some Bangs
Option 2 – Sleek // Short // Bob
Option 3 – Ooooh, Asymmetrical
I realize that no haircut will actually make me have the darling facial structure of any of these lovely ladies, so fret not. With that in mind…WHAT SAY YOU, INTERNET!