The Silver Lining

Today is my dad’s birthday, and he would have been 58. It’s hard to believe he has been gone for so long but I can honestly say that this has been a good year for me so far in the Grief Management category. I know that sounds silly. He’s been gone for 14 years and I’m still managing grief, but there it is. But today I don’t feel the huge pull of loss, as I have in the past. Today I am sort of overwhelmed with gratitude, so I’m going to make a right turn. Today, instead of talking about my dad, I think it’s high time I talk about my mom.

You see, my mom kind of gets the shaft around here. I mean, my dad has a category all to himself just because he isn’t around whereas I talk to my mom at least once a day and she has to share one with the entire rest of my family. Actually we were laughing about that this weekend.

My mom came into town on Friday and stayed a couple days, and while she only lives 30 minutes away it is so rare these days that we get to spend THAT MUCH TIME just hanging out. We had dinner at Roxy and there were cocktails and appetizers and goat cheese smothered burgers and great conversation. It was pouring down rain, but I am telling you nothing was going to dampen our Girls’ Night Out! Then we headed over to the 24th Street Theater and caught a performance of Legally Blonde The Musical and giggled until way past our bedtimes (Mom and I are early to bed, early to rise kind of gals!) and schemed about all of the cooking we are going to do this coming weekend in celebration of my Aunt’s birthday.

Saturday we got up at the CRACK OF DAWN, because that’s what we do when we hang out. There is never enough time so we always end up getting up at 5am and yapping and planning over our morning coffee. She went to CrossFit with Garrett and I since we had to squeeze our Open Workout and cheered us both on like it was HER JOB. And then we all came home and did some relaxing until she eventually had to head home.

It was such a blast!

And on a day like today, where I am certainly feeling the loss of one of my parents, I continue to have gratitude in the fact that the silver lining of losing my dad is that there is no one I am closer to than my mom. We’ve been through a lot together, she and I. Some very tough and very dark times, just the two of us. And our relationship reflects that — there is no one I feel more proud of, or more protective of than my mom.

When you are an only child and you lose a parent, and entire third of your family is gone. What remains is the kind of bond that can’t be broken by a disagreement or some petty bickering. We don’t take our relationship for granted because we know how quickly everything can change. How in an instant, one of us could be all that is left. And then there would only be one.

So when we have the chance to spend a weekend giggling, indulging and spending some quality time together, when we have the time to just hang around and enjoy each others company — I can’t help but think that my dad would recognize what a gift that is. And since it’s his birthday, I think it’s even all the more appropriate.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...
Print Friendly

11 comments to The Silver Lining

  • Jesabes
    March 19, 2012 at 1:05 pm

    Goodness, everyone is making me cry at work today. Happy Birthday to your dad – thinking of you today. I’m so glad you and your mom got to spend a bunch of time together!

  • Caity @ Moi Contre La Vie
    March 19, 2012 at 1:05 pm

    It was so nice to meet your mom this weekend, glad to hear that you lovely ladies had a great time together.

  • LizScott
    March 19, 2012 at 1:11 pm

    You forgot one thing that I am hesitant to mention, as I don’t want to diminish how touching this post is (and is something I totally grok, being very close to my mom myself, HOWEVER I do think the fact that your mom watched the F1 practice with Garret deserves a passing (ha!) mention šŸ˜‰

  • AndreAnna
    March 19, 2012 at 1:25 pm

    I love this. All of it. She must be a special lady to have raised someone like you.

  • Heather D.
    March 19, 2012 at 1:33 pm

    Beautifully written Holly! You truly have a gift with words :-)

  • Home Sweet Sarah
    March 19, 2012 at 2:25 pm

    Well, happy birthday to Papa H!

    I think there is something to be said for the special parental bond that onlies have. I mean, I obviously know it no other way, but still. Moms 4 EVA.

  • Sharon
    March 19, 2012 at 3:46 pm

    What a beautiful blog Holly…Thank you for the special acknowledgement. I couldn’t be prouder to be your mom, and I am so grateful for the time we spend together!

  • Brittany
    March 19, 2012 at 4:15 pm

    So wonderful, Holly.

  • Megan W
    March 19, 2012 at 9:56 pm

    Awesome mom love! Now that I live 1000 miles from my parents I realized I took those little weekends I got to spend with my mom for granted. Thanks for sharing yours! Plus, sharing about your mom and your relationship is just another way to honor your dad and his memory!

  • sizzle
    March 20, 2012 at 10:55 am

    I can relate to the grief of losing a father long after he has passed and also writing more about dad than mom. It’s so great you and your mom are close and can have such a good time together!

  • Lauren
    March 20, 2012 at 9:00 pm

    I’m just now reading this (obviously, given my earlier email today), and I just love the relationship you have with your mom. I’m glad you had a wonderful weekend together. She sounds like an amazing woman!

Welcome!

photo

Instagram

Categories

What I’m Pinning

  • Tweed Cropped Jacket
  • HalogenĀ® Cardigan, S
  • cute!
  • Image Via: Imogene+W
  • Vince Camuto Grommet
  • Vince Camuto Pleated
Follow Me on Pinterest

Archives

Posts

March 2012
M T W T F S S
« Feb   Apr »
 1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728293031