On iLove, iEmbarrassment, and an iCall For Help

Things I have learned in the 2 weeks that I have had an iPhone

*If you don’t really go anywhere, you won’t be any good at FourSquare
*I really *can* refresh my inbox 24 hours a day if I want
*Refreshing said inbox is so much more awesome from under the covers of your bed
*Garrett is not a fan of email reading in bed
*A phone can actually feel like an extra appendage
*Runkeeper means I don’t have to go out and buy a Garmin anymore
*Pandora stations have some funny names

And most importantly: MY LOVE RUNS DEEP

I also learned how to turn down the volume, which was something I should have learned to do BEFORE I brought my new phone to work, but you know I’m never one to get bogged down with time lines!

You see I brought my phone to work last Friday, into my very quiet and conservative office where I sit no less than 20 feet from the Director of My Department. The area is pretty highly trafficked and it’s kind of a nice place to sit, actually. Unless you turn on Pandora and a completely vulgar and inappropriate song is playing, you haven’t hooked up your headphones, and you don’t *really* know where the volume button is. Imagine being that person who walks into the library with their phone NOT on silent and then gets called over and over by their psycho ex boyfriend. ONLY WORSE. AND WITH MORE VULGAR INNUENDO.

So my phone starts playing some loud ass rap! And it takes me a second to realize that YES! It is my phone that is shouting “ASS” over and over and over. Slowly I have the realization that everyone else also knows that it is my phone. Sure I could have covered the speaker. I could have plugged in the headphones that were sitting on my desk. I could have HIT THE PAUSE BUTTON ON PANDORA. Oh, there were a million things I could have done! But you see when an awful song is playing at top volume and everyone realizes it’s coming from YOUR phone, and people start standing up to stare, and others start acting shocked at the lyrics coming out of your phone, and the DIRECTOR OF YOUR DEPARTMENT comes out of his office where he is meeting with the DIRECTOR OF OPERATIONS to find out what all this ruckus is about — well, let’s just say you don’t always do the logical thing. The logical thing isn’t what pops right into your mind. You know?

So yeah, that was embarrassing. And for your listening pleasure (and because I think it really lends to the fuchsia inducing portion of this story) I’m going to link to the song (COMPLETE WITH LYRICS, OMG THE LYRICS) that was blasting out of my phone FOR OVER TWO MINUTES (do you know how long that is in embarrassment minutes?) in front of my entire office. It played and played and played until I finally ran over to the youngest person sitting in my row, threw my phone in his lap and said “MAKE IT STOP!”

And thank god he did.

And then I died of embarrassment. Which is cool because the whole situation made me feel about 80 years old, so at least I lived a long life.

Let me tell you, internet: I have learned my lesson on the volume thing. But I’m still a little slow on everything else. I have downloaded maybe 5 apps and I’m sure there is a world out there waiting for me to explore it! (What do you use for your feed readers?) Bethany was already kind enough to email a list of her favorite apps (LOVE HER!), but I’m sure that all of you have something to contribute, yes?

Care to share what apps make your heart sing? Please just not top-volume-dropping-F-bombs-for-two-whole-minutes-in-front-of-my-entire-office singing, mmmkay? Maybe apps that make your heart sing a nice lullaby or something, eh?

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