How NOT To Compliment Someone Who Has Lost Weight

It could be just a case of the Monday Crabbies, but I need to take a minute to vent for a second. I know people generally have good intentions, or at least I like to think that. But losing a good amount of weight in the last year has really given me some hardcore evidence that many people just don’t think before they speak.

Let me enlighten you in case you consider any of the following compliments, THEY ARE NOT:

1. WOW! You look SO MUCH BETTER!
Hey, thanks asshole! Insulting what I looked like less than a year ago doesn’t endear me to you.

2. You look fantastic! Well everywhere except for this spot right here. (Insert awkward physical touching) Keep up the good work though!
Yep, this did just happen to me this weekend, and no I could NOT think up a witty retort because I was so shocked that someone was squeezing my belly.

3. Isn’t buying clothes so much more fun now that you look better?
Listen, buying clothes (at least for me) was always fun. Nothing has changed in that respect. Shopping rocks! Acting like it must have been this tragic thing for me just because my figure was curvier is a little bit revealing of your biases. Don’t put that on me.

4. DAMN HOW MUCH WEIGHT HAVE YOU LOST? NO REALLY, HOW MUCH?
I think most people file this under ‘N’ for None of Your God Damn Business, but there are definitely those persistent people who just REALLY need a number. I’m always shocked when people persist over this. What does it matter to you?

5. And related: WOW HOW MUCH MORE DO YOU HAVE TO LOSE?
Hey, you know what, why don’t we just step on the scale and you can tell me?

6. I just can’t stop staring at you. You look great!
This may seem sort of innocuous, but really unless you are my boyfriend, I would prefer you stop staring at me, actually. It’s awkward. Especially because you are my coworker.

7. Can you eat that? I’m only asking because I don’t want you to derail so much progress.
People are lucky I don’t punch them in the face.

Maybe I need some more coffee. I don’t know. Am I being overly sensitive?

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13 comments to How NOT To Compliment Someone Who Has Lost Weight

  • Erica
    September 26, 2011 at 1:02 pm

    Both horrible and hilarious. Wait until you are pregnant – the rude comments will never stop. And then you have a kid and well, the rude comments/advice just keep coming.

  • Tamara
    September 26, 2011 at 1:03 pm

    What is wrong with people?! Wow. You aren’t over-reacting, those people have lost their damned minds and were not raised right.

  • LizScott
    September 26, 2011 at 1:26 pm

    I am appalled that ANY of those things got said. GRAH!

  • Carla
    September 26, 2011 at 1:48 pm

    The only thing I’m shocked about is that you didn’t punch them in the mouth! 😉 lol!

  • Brittany
    September 26, 2011 at 2:09 pm

    People really don’t think before they talk… insane!

  • Dr. Maureen
    September 26, 2011 at 3:13 pm

    Being pregnant three times has made me aware that it is never OK to comment on anyone’s size. Ever. You are allowed to say, “You look fantastic!” but not give a REASON for it; ie, no “You look fantastic because you are so thin!”

    I cannot believe someone pointed out a “problem area.” CANNOT BELIEVE IT.

  • Kyla
    September 26, 2011 at 3:38 pm

    Oh my goodness! Must be something in the water, stupid seems to be going around.

    And #2, the “belly squeezer”… Seriously, that person needs to be sterilized.

    If coffee hasn’t helped and you still feel like punching noses, check out this post by Pioneer Woman. Makes me giggle.
    http://thepioneerwoman.com/homeandgarden/2011/04/my-favorite-swaddling-blanket/

  • Lisa
    September 26, 2011 at 4:03 pm

    Now I’m paranoid that I’ve said one of these things. I have a co-worker that has lost 250+ pounds, and I’m just so proud of him. I’m sure I’ve probably blurted out something rude before, though I swear I meant well.

  • sizzle
    September 26, 2011 at 5:19 pm

    It’s so strange when people try to compliment and come off as an asshole. Sometimes I don’t even say anything to someone who has lost a lot of weight or if I do I just ask how they are feeling. As someone who has dropped a lot of weight in the past, I can relate to so many of these points you put out. I hated when they made it seem like the bigger me was unattractive. I’m still me! Ugh.

  • Kyra
    September 27, 2011 at 9:42 am

    I’m someone who HATES it when people mention my weight at all. There are so many other things in my life that could be mentioned or discussed, and my body size sure as heck shouldn’t be one of them. For me, unless I ask directly, I don’t think there IS a good way to comment/compliment on my weight. I think as a society, people are so body focused that they’re cross-eyed. And I know a lot of them mean nothing cruel about it, but it sticks inside just the same.

  • Maureen
    September 27, 2011 at 11:14 am

    You aren’t being overly sensitive, that is for sure. When I was younger, I had just lost 50 lbs-any time my sister and I went out together and we would meet guys (as you do) she would say “my sister just lost 50 lbs!” EVERY SINGLE TIME we met a guy. At first I didn’t think much of it, then I started to get the feeling like she was trying to say, “well, she looks good now, but beware she used to be fat!” It was so strange and when I said something to her, she said “I am proud of you!”, but what a weird thing to say to perfect strangers.

    Anyway, I feel your pain on the comments-even if most people mean well, they need to think before they speak. Although the person who made comment #2, they just need a good slap.

  • Tami (Teacher Goes Back to School)
    September 27, 2011 at 9:27 pm

    #2 definitely deserves to be punched in the nose.

    i am having a fantasy of replying to these idiots with, “you must have meant ‘you look fantastic’.” i’m 100% certain they wouldn’t get the lesson in it, but i just want someone to school these knuckleheads in compliment giving.

    ps – you look fantastic!

    • Holly
      September 29, 2011 at 10:33 am

      Thanks Tami! I totally would have gone for nose punch, but it was my grandma…and you know, people frown on that I guess. 😉

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