Daily Archives: May 16, 2011

I Never Promised You An Herb Garden

Well my herb garden is pretty much looking like a disaster, friends.  This feels sort of like a betrayal because you always hear that herbs are the gateway garden, right?   A full fledged garden sounds sort of overwhelming, but anyone can grow herbs, right?  You don’t need garden beds, or rich soil, or mad skillz.  Everything I’ve read tells me I can them on a ledge in my kitchen, on a balcony with retractable roof systems, in little pots.  Herbs! You can grow them ANYWHERE!  

But I’m finding out the hard way that this is shameful propaganda.  Unless I am totally doing it wrong (and I just may be) the rest of my garden is thriving but most of my herbs are dead or wishing they were.  

Exhibit A:  The Dill

Y’all, this dill is either dead, or in hospice.  I won’t be sprinkling this on my salmon anytime soon!  (Good thing Garrett hates salmon.)

Exhibit B:  The Basil

While this isn’t quite as brown and dead looking as the dill, it is definitely looking far more like swiss cheese than I think it should. Ina Garten’s basil in her backyard garden doesn’t have holes in it, WHY DOES MINE? I often visit this website that talks about plants, but I could not figure out what is wrong.

Garrett calls Ina Garten “I’m a Gardener” in a snooty little Southampton voice whenever I make one of her recipes just to be obnoxious, but I feel like it is extra salt in the wounds lately because it is another reminder that I am completely NOT A GARDENER, INA — what is your secret???

He also calls Alton Brown “Alton Bunghole.”  I don’t know why I’m telling you this.  Dinner conversation around our house is lively, I promise you.

Maybe I just need to come to terms with the fact that the rest of my life will be full of store bought basil.  But you guys, I can hardly keep store bought basil alive.  I AM DOOMED.
  

Luckily, some of my tomato plants are looking pretty good.  

Actually they all look pretty good, but these are the only ones that I have responsibly put tomato cages around so these are the ones I’m going to show you.  Elizabeth came by this weekend (who you know, is my garden fairy) and I thought to myself “The Horror! She will see my uncaged tomatoes AND ALL OF MY FAILURES WILL BE EXPOSED”  and she totally didn’t judge me.  But I’m not sure I can trust the entire internet to do the same, so you only get that one picture.  It’s neat to see them grow though, they have all these cute little flowers on them which I am taking as signs that I’m NOT a totally lame gardener!  

So take THAT, Ina!

But the herbs, well, they continue to disappoint!  Have you encountered this before?  Am I doing something wrong?  Enlighten me, internet.  I know you are full of advice. I also booked a service with a lawn care company to care for my garden better.

Have you had success growing herbs?  TELL ME YOUR SECRETS…

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...