These Are My Confessions – Volume Two

It’s mid-week, I’m feeling a little feisty, so how about a round of some confessions.  I hope I have now gotten that terrible Usher song in your head.  You’re welcome.  So I’ve got a few to get off my chest — how about you tell me some of yours so I don’t feel so bad?  It will be fun, I promise!

Confession #1 –   We have a gorgeous shower in our master bathroom.  GORGEOUS.  It’s one of my favorite parts of our house.  It’s spacious and lovely and full of some of my favorite things And we haven’t used it regularly in, oh almost 12 months.  I mean could you die?  Why on earth would you do that, Holly?  Well, mostly because we are lazy and because keeping that glass clean is a downright chore with all the squeege-ing and drying and treating with waterproof substances and stuff and it adds almost 10 minutes on to your shower in the morning.  When Garrett went back to working at Peet’s and his wake-up call started coming between 4 and 5am, he started showering in the guest room to save time in the morning.  And then I got jealous and threw my shampoo in there.  And now? We just use the guest bathroom.  THE GUEST BATHROOM! 

Can you believe that?

God, that’s embarrassing.  I’m hoping the act of telling you will force me to quit acting like a dummy.  A lazy dummy.   

Confession #2 –   You all, I am feeling super conflicted!  When I get married I am not sure I want to change my last name.  Now this is probably a post in itself, but the truth is as Garrett and I talk more about wedding planning and timing and babies, etc I get more panicky about the impending possibility of changing my last name.  I am the only Woodcock still standing of my close extended family and I am proud of that name.  Yes, it’s kind of a tragic last name that I couldn’t wait to get rid of when I was 12, but now that I am 32 I have had plenty of time to adjust.  And I do like it.  And I am attached to it.  And it does make me feel connected to my dad who is no longer around.  And all of those other feminist arguments that go along with keeping your last name.  (Why doesn’t Garrett want to be a Woodcock?  Come on, it’s a waaaaay better name for a boy, you know!)
But we talk about it often and Garrett REALLY wants me to change my last name — and you all Garrett does not want for much.  He is the most supportive and loving partner (obvs, or I wouldn’t even be considering marrying the guy) and he so rarely does anything besides go with the flow, and he has told me on a number of occasions that it is important to him that our children and our family share the same last name.  And his last name is not a bad name.  It’s a lovely name actually (Franklin) would go just fine with my first name, and in theory I like the idea of the family we create together all having the same name, but WHY OH WHY does it mean I have to give up my name?  Sob.

Ay yay yay —  how did you make that decision? 

Confession # 3 - Just to lighten things up a bit — I’m listening to Ke$ha on purpose you guys.  Who am I?

Confession # 4 - I miss the internet when people blogged because they liked to write.  Now it is all about niches and advertising and HOW CAN YOUR WEBSITE BE GROWING IF YOU ARE NOT GIVING YOUR READERS WHAT THEY WANT?  Well what about what I want?  I maintain this site.  I spend time here putting my proverbial pen to paper as an exercise for myself.  As a hobby.  As something I do for fun.  Why does that have to make me feel like a slacker?  Why do I have to categorize my interests into a niche?  Why do I have to be more one dimensional so that “my target audience can get what it needs”?  I feel irked by this.  I love stumbling upon a great personal blog where the author is a lovely writer and talks about LOTS of different things.  Those are my FAVORITE reads actually.  When did this become uncool?

So what do you want to confess?  You’ll feel better, I swear.  I’m all ears…

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11 comments to These Are My Confessions – Volume Two

  • LizScott
    March 9, 2011 at 3:57 pm

    Oy. The Name Change.

    Ok, so I always figured I'd change my name – much like Garret, I like the idea of the whole family having the same name, and then I married someone with a daughter, and that just reinforced my decision – we weren't creating something new, I was joining an already created unit, and I very much want to be a part of that unit. So. I mean. All good, right?

    OMG I MISS MY NAME. I really, really really do. I REALLY do. It's getting better, but the first few -maybe even the first six – months I felt… off. Like I was an lying. And it was very hard at work, and now, years later, I still find myself re-introducing myself to people (hi, you knew me when my name was __) (this might be specific to my job, as I work with a lot of people scattered through the country, and lots of time the only contact is via email/con calls).

    Also, I'm very close with my cousins and my brothers, all with the same last name, and I miss…that. Yes, I know: it doesn't make a difference. But it was a shock to me, especially since I'd be very gung ho about changing my name – to find that i was very, very unsettled with my new name.

    ALL OF THAT BEING SAID: I mostly don't care anymore. And I do really like having the same last name as my stepdaughter and my husband, and should we have kids, I'm glad they'll have the same name. I'm not sorry I did it, but it's one of the things about marriage that was harder than I thought it would be, and that surprised me.

    So, um, good luck with that, is what I'm saying. :(

  • Shelly
    March 9, 2011 at 4:40 pm

    My last name is Slomp. So I'm dying to change it. People can never understand me on the phone – "Swamp?" "Slump?" "What?!"

    It's a dutch name, and I am proud of it, but my goodness…I can't wait to be called Michelle Brown. Simple!

    My girlfriends joke about me being called Michelle Slomp-Brown. Um…no thanks. :)

  • Shelly
    March 9, 2011 at 4:40 pm

    I guess I should clarify. I go by Shelly…but my legal name is Michelle…so it would be Shelly Brown…instead of Shelly Slomp. Heh.

  • Erica
    March 9, 2011 at 4:52 pm

    I loved my last name too. I changed it to my legal middle name. It's a good option.

  • Dr. Maureen
    March 9, 2011 at 5:31 pm

    I added my maiden name to my legal middle name, so now my full name is Maureen OriginalMiddleName OriginalLastName MarriedName. I never really use the maiden name initial, but I like to know it's there. And I admit to twinges of regret when I first changed my name, but I was used to it by year 2 or so I think. I wanted our family to have one last name, and I just wanted Andrew to *consider* changing HIS name to MY name, which he did. We both agreed that it was not worth the headache of various extended family members rolling their eyes and talking about how weird we were, so we went traditional.

    I agree with #4 wholeheartedly. I have pretty much given up the idea that I will ever make money on my blog and that is FINE.

  • Shannon
    March 9, 2011 at 5:41 pm

    I'm delurking…

    Last names are hard. We compromised. I wasn't actually sure what I wanted to do with my last name. My husband thought it would be good if I took his name, but wasn't concerned if I didn't and I wasn't sure what I wanted to do. Part of me thought I should keep my name because it's MY NAME, but I liked the idea of our family unit being named the same.

    So.

    I ended up keeping my maiden name at work and I use my husband's name everywhere else. I haven't actually changed it yet on any of my id, but our bank accounts are all tagged with both names. I think our name rules are a bit different up here – when you marry, you can take your spouse's name, keep your name, hyphenate, make a new name and you don't have to legally change your name, you can just assume the new name.

    When it came time to name our daughter she got two middle names. We decided we wanted her to have my name as part of her name…the only problem is that she thinks everyone in our family has a different first name and then the same three names and she does (she also has my middle name which was also my husband's grandmother's name…complicated!)

    So she's a bit confused by that because her dad's middle name certainly isn't Elizabeth and he decided not to assume my name…

    and #4 – I like blogs like that too!

  • Tamara
    March 9, 2011 at 7:46 pm

    I kept my last name, and it's partly because I'm weirded out that Seth's ex-wife still has his last name and she re-married… Seth offered to take my name or for both of us to hyphenate, but in the end since we both work in entertainment our names are our resume so we decided to keep them separate. I have no idea what we're going to do about our future children's last names.

  • L
    March 9, 2011 at 11:10 pm

    I was so sad to change my name. Like you, my husband really wanted me to change though. So I did, and I don't regret it, but still miss my old name. I'm considering giving one of our kids my maiden name….we'll see.

  • Maureen
    March 10, 2011 at 2:07 pm

    I will be honest, it never entered my mind that I would change my name when I married. I was 33, and I guess it never occurred to me. I think my husband might have said "so are you changing your name?" I said "no!", and he said "no problem!". Just for me, it was a bit too much like an archaic ritual, where women used to be men's property. Of course, now I can understand how people might want everyone to have the same name in the family, it is less confusing. The funny thing, is after 17 years of marriage, any correspondance my mother in law sends is addressed with my first name, husband's last name. She knows I never changed my name, but likes to make her point. She is a very nice mother in law, so I just go with it. I really don't know what I would have done if it would have been a big deal to my husband, luckily it wasn't.

    Can I tell you a confession? Yesterday was the first day we used a gym membership we have had for over a year! How bad is that? It is one of those bargain gyms that whose monthly rate is less than a Chinese takeout, but still. Better late than never??

  • Anonymous
    March 10, 2011 at 2:25 pm

    I have a tip for your shower door..shampoo! I wash my face with the daily Oil of Olay exfloliating cloths and I just squeeze a little shampoo on it (when I'm done with it) and rub it on the glass and wash it off with the water. Takes just a few seconds and it's clean and streak-free. You can use a loofah as well…

  • Nicole
    March 10, 2011 at 3:29 pm

    My confession…. I love Ke$ha.

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