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Hey there! I'm Holly. A 40+ year old insurance-nerd wife, mom, beauty lover, and about a million other things in between.
This is the place where I share about our lives, what I'm currently loving, books I'm reading, plus-size style, beauty recommendations, health + fitness endeavors and anything else I'm finding interesting at the moment.
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Monthly Archives: July 2008
Letter To The Universe
I feel like I am going in a hundred different directions. Work, travel, fun, family, life — how do you balance it all?
I want to read more.
I want to work out more.
I want to cook more.
I want to sleep more.
I want to blog about the fabulous trip I just took.
I want to update my flickr account.
I want to fix my wireless internet.
I want my projects to manage themselves.
I want my house to clean itself.
I want to redecorate.
I want to write more.
I want to exhale.
Sigh.
What the heck am I doing in the meantime?
GrrAnimals for Ants
A funny thing happened with my underwear today and I thought the internet needed to know about it. I mean, you would totally be doing the same thing right now had this happened to you, and this was your blog I just know it. It would be a No-brainer.
Anyway — like many American women, I have a MAJOR obsession with Target, that dirty minx. I’ve spoken about it here, read about it there, and generally can’t get through my week without finding some ridiculous reason that I NEED. TO. GO. IMMEDIATELY. And this past Saturday, that reason was underwear.
(Ok and perhaps a shirt, and a necklace, and a pair of shorts, and a pair of pants for Garrett, and generic Fruity Pebbles, and perhaps a magazine or two, but frankly I don’t think that’s any of your business)
Now don’t get all squeamish, I didn’t IMMEDIATELY need underwear or anything, it wasn’t like that, but something about an impending vacation made me feel like a few new underthings might just actually make the whole “packing” process bearable, so to the red bullseye I went, and promptly picked out some very cute but very sensible Hanes Her Way bikini briefs. I hate that word “briefs” by the way, but it’s certainly better than “panties” (shudder) so it will have to do.
Anyway, last night I went to throw them in the washer and I was shocked with what I found when I pulled them out of their package “What are these underwear FOR ANTS?” I said to myself, and then I realized that they were wrapped around a WARNING! insert, that basically said — and I’m just paraphrasing here — but something to the effect of: Yeah, these undies look hella small, but you bought the right size and they will fit. This is a special microfiber material that stretches to the size of YOUR ass, yes even your ass, so just tumble dry low, mmmkay?
Following said instructions, I washed and dried my barbie doll underwear, and when I pulled them out, they looked like this when I layed them out on A PLACEMAT:
Oh, does that not look so small to you? Because I understand that my chubby little hands are not the scale to which one usually reaches when looking to illustrate “small,” so this picture may not make you fully understand the midge-factor of these underpants. But let me put it to you this way, even though that hand is fat, do you think there is any way in the world that this hand could eclipse the entirety that is an ass? I mean am I right? Right. Moving on.
So just to drive this point on home I thought I would show you my new bun-warmers next to a 16 oz. container of cottage cheese (with pineapple! yum!) And yes, I do see the irony of comparing something that covers my ass to cottage cheese, and no I don’t need you to rack your brain for a snarky comment. It was pretty much all I had in the way of food-in-comparable-sized-containers available aside from the can of French Fried Onions in the cupboard and I seriously wasn’t about to let the internet know that I have some of those.
Whoops.
Anyway, like I was saying, the cottage cheese:
Now, really. Really? Cottage Cheese Sized Underwear? WTF?
Although to my absolute shock and delight, the stretch-factor of these underwear is an 11 out of 10, so miraculously these not only fit but stayed put the entire day! I was surprised to find that the Hanes Her Way Warning was in fact telling the truth, and I would not have to return undies to Target which always makes my nose crinkle and makes me feel a little skeevy.
But I’m just telling you right now, if Hanes comes out with a Yoplait sized bra, that’s where I’m drawing the line.
Truly, Truly, Truly Outrageous!
Is their really anything better than family?
Garrett and I spent the long weekend down in Monterey visiting my cousin Sara and her boyfriend Paul; however, we were also joined by my cousin Jim, his girlfriend Gina, my cousin Jeff and one of his friends. I want to tell you about all the crazy things we did (including dancing to Hulk Hogan Anthems, watching Jem videos on You Tube, re-enacting Hall & Oats performances) but seriously, I spent 99.9% of the time trying NOT to spit my beverage out of my mouth or pee my pants from laughing so hard!
Is it any wonder I’m exhausted?
Jim and Paul during quieter and calmer times
We headed down Thursday after work and I swear when I got to Castroville I could just SMELL the ocean! The climate was so insanely different than the ridiculous heat up here in Sacramento and I was totally jazzed. Friday morning Jim and Gina joined us:
Jim and Gina getting in some quality lounge time
And Jeff followed shortly thereafter. We BBQ’d some hotlinks, enjoyed some adult beverages, lounged, watched the Giants game, and generally enjoyed each other’s company. I discovered that Bud Light Lime isn’t even as disgusting as I had previously thought, and that shots of Bourbon are eerily similar to drinking A BLOW TORCH! I would not recommend this to others. Then it was time to head out for fireworks in downtown Monterey and do you know what the best part about the fireworks were? That I got to wear this:
That’s right! I had to wear a scarf, folks! So that I wouldn’t freeze my ass off and I LOVED IT! Ok technically it was a pashmina that Sara has been using as decoration in her guest bedroom, but Tim Gunn would be proud ‘cuz I think I Made it Work!
But even better than my newfound love of Bud Light Lime, or that my Winterwear was not at all out of place, I think hands down the best part of the fireworks was this:
I mean seriously? How can that not make you feel like you live in the best country ever!?!
Afterwards we headed to a couple of bars in downtown Monterey. A friend of Jim’s was having a cd release party for their band Yell or Trolley so we caught their show. 
All in all — a FABULOUS Fourth of July! I Hope yours was equally exciting!
The Fleet Foxes Will Knock Your Soxes Off!
Ok, so my title needs work — I’ll give you that — but what I’m trying to tell you is that the Fleet Foxes show totally rocked!
Garrett and I have pretty much mastered the art of being homebodies (FYI — the recipe includes delicious homemade dinner, CSI: Miami reruns in the background, Couching, Bad Reality TV on the DVR, and reading in bed by 11 — you know, in case you were wondering) so when the opportunity presented itself to go see a show in San Francisco on a Thursday night, we weren’t exactly grabbing our keys and heading out the door. However, when we discovered that tickets were only $10, my inner-bargain hunter said this was something we could not pass up. 
So into The City we headed after work Thursday evening and honestly, despite the fact the most of California is covered in smoke right now, it was a fantastic drive. And when we got there, lo and behold the parking was ample! and free! Can you believe our luck??? Neither could we! When we finally got inside we saddled up to bar, ordered a drink ($4 for a beer? Are you serious? That’s all? But we’re in San Francisco?), and thoroughly enjoyed the fact that not only was it Summertime — but indeed the livin’ was easy…
When the band finally came out, they performed an amazing set and I was totally blown away by how great they sounded live. The above pic was my awful attempt to capture how magical they were, but either my camera sucks, my photography skills suck, or a little bit of both. Aside from the fact that some drunk smelly guy was dancing the whole time in front of me, even though we were packed like sardines in the club, (which in my concert etiquette handbook has always meant NO DRUNKEN DANCING YOU SMELLY DOUCHEBAG!!!) we enjoyed every minute of the show and were so happy that we took the plunge and headed down even though it was mid-week. 
*For your viewing pleasure I found a clip on You Tube that has halfway decent audio…I call this one Not Tonight, Horatio Caine.
How freaking great are they? Ok, I’m done dorking out now. 🙂
