Monthly Archives: December 2006

Just in case there was any confusion about how classy my family and I are — we spent Christmas Eve singing this in lieu of Christmas Carols…I mean hey — it’s Holiday themed!

God, remember slam books??? Ah, how I miss the simplicity of elementary school and the ability that a pink pen had to change the entire outlook of my day. Anyway, this post is pretty boring and self indulgent (HA! Which one isn’t?) but it reminded me of elementary school slam books…

The ABCs

A – Available or Single? Um, those are not opposites. And I’m happily taken by the way. Wait, Taken is a dumb word. Let’s just say I count my blessings everyday that I have Garrett. That’s better.
B – Best friend? See Above
C – Cake or Pie? Oh god, CAKE! Carrot cake, white cake, chocolate cake…Yes please.
D – Drink of choice? Coffee in the morning, water always, Diet Coke/Diet Squirt if I need some carbonated refreshment, a tasty cab/gin and tonic after a long day.
E – Essential item you use every day? Lipgloss
F – What do you do for Fun? Cook, watch movies, go out on the town, see friends, read, write
G – Gummy bears or worms? Worms. huh. What an odd thing to have a preference about, but apparently I do. Who knew?
H – Hometown? Born in Rochester, Michigan but grew up in Fremont, CA
I – Indulgence? Going to bed on clean sheets after a hot bubble bath WITH shaved legs and a book so good I can’t put it down
J – January or February? January…who doesn’t love a fresh start?
K – Kids and Names? I’m sure I will think of some when I have some.
L – Life is incomplete without? love
M – Messy or Neat? It depends. If I lived alone, you could eat off my floor. But sharing space with other people, I am probably messier than I’d like to admit.
N – Number of Siblings? None…the lonely only
O – Oranges or Apples? I like the taste of oranges better (when they’re good) but I like the instant gratification of apples more.
P – Phobia / Fears? Spiders sure do get the blood pumping
Q – Favorite Quote? Only those who risk going to far can possibly find out how far one can go –T.S Eliot
R – Reason to smile? My life is good, my family is healthy, my friends are awesome, and I’m totally in love. What’s not to smile about?
S – Favorite Season? Autumn, hands down
T – Favorite time of day? Right when I wake up and everything is quiet
U – Unkown fact about me? I love watching infomercials
V – Vegetable you don’t like? Um, I don’t think there is one. Oh wait…I don’t LOVE mushrooms
W – Worst habit? Being 100% unable to ever hold my tongue. I pretty much say what I think at all times. Sometimes it would behoove me to just sit on a thought for a while.
X – Xrays you’ve had? I have no clue. I haven’t really been hospitalized that much and I’ve never broken a bone, so probably not many if any.
Y – Your favorite food? All of it.
Z – Zodiac sign? Libra

So I’m hoping that I’m out of the woods with this rummy haze I’ve been in
for the past two weeks. With some holiday extravaganzas happening and
a bout with a nasty cold that just refuses to go away, I’ve been waiting
patiently for some clarity of mind to return so I could post something
incredibly witty and useful, but I’m pretty sure that’s not going to happen.
Frankly, I’m overly crabby. Though I’ve secretly always wanted to have a really bad cold just so I can test the medicinal acuity of only whiskey and sleep — right now I am very over still being sick — and when I’m feeling sorry for myself for being sick, everything starts pissing me off it seems.

For example:

1. Why do people mistake the word Bravado for Brave. Just because you
add an -ADO onto the end of a word, does not make it more fancy. It actually does what I like to call, CHANGES THE MEANING YOU IDIOT! And just because something almost sounds like something else…doesn’t mean it is something else. Isn’t this like one of those things we learned in Kindergarten?

2. Why do people assume when they have any kind of sore throat that they have strep throat? For the record, strep throat is a very specific virus find it in the Elisa Kit Directory, which you must be tested for to confirm. Just because you wake up in the morning and your throat hurts a little and it happens to be Winter, DOESN’T MEAN YOU HAVE STREP!!!!!! These are the same stupid people who think you get a cold from it “being” cold. Once again, I know they sound similar, but they are NOT THE SAME.

3. Piggy backing on that — Attention people with headaches: just because
you are incredibly put out when your head hurts “really bad” does not mean you have a migraine. Migraines, as well, are a very specific type of headache. Unless you have a license to practice medicine or you ate a brain tumor for breakfast, I’m pretty sure you probably don’t have one, and I’m definitely sure you can’t diagnose it. So don’t. There are lots of people to whom you can pay exorbitant amounts of money to do that for you…and there are even more people you can pay exorbitant amounts of money to create little pills you can take for it. And by “it”, I mean the stupidity that’s being cultivated in your brain that is clearly causing it to hurt!

4. Why does anyone in their right mind re-heat any sort of exceptionally
spicy, fishy, meaty (read: stinky) food in a confined space? Does that make any sense? Maybe fish head stew, or oxtail casserole, or plates of quivering beef taste good to you — and that’s fine. I’m very proud of you, and not knocking your taste in cuisine. But if the smell makes me want to vomit, then I’m pretty sure it might make a few other people want to vomit as well, and might I remind you, we are in a confined space, and vomiting is not what we’re trying to do here, remember?

5. And while I’m at it — Who hell carts their dogs around in a BABY STROLLER? Why is Paris Hilton famous? And why can’t Britney cover up her lady parts?